A Separate Existence
by Cassandra
Summary: Eriol tells Syaoran about a separate existence in which Sakura is still alive. But upon entering this separate existence Syaoran realizes just how different two worlds can be. The end! Please read my note at the end. Thanks for the comments ppl!
1. The Realization

The Realization

The Realization

His eyes skimmed the writing on the tombstone, a muscle clenching in his jaw. He didn't want to look at it anymore because looking at it would only convince him of the truth. And he didn't want to be convinced. He didn't want it to be true.

Kinomoto Sakura

1984 – 2001

Beloved Daughter and Friend

Autumn was upon him. The trees were shifting colors, from a luminescent gold to a bloody red. And before his very eyes, dead brown leaves fell to the floor to be trampled by time. He gazed at those unfortunate ones, chocolate brown eyes narrowed against the coppery sunset. What did it feel like, to have your time on the earth come to an end? And then to be forgotten, as if you had never existed?

**I need you…**

"Syaoran."

Li Syaoran glanced over his shoulder, whirling about. And he felt the sudden need to yell angrily at the person who had interrupted his thoughts. How had he gotten so close without making any noise?

But then he recognized the person standing there and his anger faded away, pushed aside as easily as the breeze took the dead leaves.

"Eriol."

The black-haired figure gazed at him, dark eyes shadowed. 

Syaoran turned away once more, bowing his head as the breeze ruffled his hair. It was such a cold breeze, icy like the fingers of Mistress Death. "Leave me alone." He whispered, eyes closing.

There was the sound of a footstep behind him, coming closer, and he cursed his visitor in his head. Why didn't anyone ever listen to him anymore? Just because Sakura had passed that didn't mean he didn't know what he wanted.

"It's a waste of time, being here like this." Hiiragizawa Eriol said quietly, sounding like his normal self.

Syaoran felt the corners of his lips tighten. The least he could do was pay some respect to the departed. "Is it?" he asked dully.

Eriol neared even more, glancing towards the setting sun and then he let his eyes pass over Sakura's grave. There were fresh flowers before it, beautifully vibrant colors of spring misplaced in time. "It is." He replied absentmindedly. "All you do is remind yourself that she is dead."

Syaoran whirled on him once more. "I remind myself of nothing." He snarled. "I don't **need** to be reminded. I live with it every single day of my **life**." And he glared, the fury back in his eyes, anchoring in the black depths of his pupils. "You should have warned me."

"Warned you?" Eriol practically laughed. "Warned you of what? That the Cards consumed their Master's power? That weakness would mean death?" he shook his head, a smug look on his face. "I'm sure she understood, Syaoran. I'm sure she knew in the end that her weakness brought her death. And I'm sure she went to her grave with no regrets save the fact that she would not live to continue seeing your face every day for the rest of her life."

Syaoran stared at him, eyes narrowed in disgust. He realized, once more, that he loathed the young man standing before him. Or perhaps, not loathed, exactly. It was such a strong word and most of the time he could barely find it in himself to care about anything Eriol did.

"Why are you like this?" he asked the black-haired youth. "Why do you do this to everyone? Are you that…**arrogant** a person that you can laugh over someone's resting place? Do you even understand what it means to-"

Eriol came closer, floating toward his side and clutching his arm with a grip of steel. "I want you to understand something, Syaoran." He said in a very faint, but firm tone. "A long time ago, just like Sakura, I also died. Not because of old age. And not of natural causes. I was not strong enough, neither mentally nor physically strong enough, to control the Cards. Strong enough to create them? Yes. Controlling them was a different matter."

Syaoran stared at him from up close, eyes narrowing. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked and he yanked his arm out of Eriol's grip, taking a step back.

The dark-haired boy stared at him, his eyes colder than any winter. "I'm telling you this because in my life as Clow Reed I didn't understand nearly all the things I do now. Nor was I strong enough. I realize now, today in fact, that even without the half of myself reborn in Kinomoto Fujitaka, I am strong enough. I am stronger now than I will probably ever be."

Syaoran bristled. "Good for you." He growled.

Eriol smiled that cold, smug smile once more. "And you as well, child." He replied and he motioned toward Sakura's grave. "What if I were to say that you could have another chance, Syaoran? Another chance to be with Sakura-chan? A chance to see her again?"

His words hung in the air around them as Syaoran stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

Eriol continued to smile, eyes narrowing as if to say that he had Syaoran exactly where he wanted him. "Do you believe in my words?" he asked him.

Syaoran eyed him suspiciously. "I need to understand what you're telling me before I can believe in you, Eriol."

The black-haired boy patted him on the back as a sign of reassurance. "Then open your mind, Syaoran. And heed my words because I guarantee I will surprise you with what I have to say." And he motioned for them to walk together, to leave Sakura's grave so that they could talk privately.

Syaoran followed him, casting a last glance back at the grave. "Spill." He murmured, finally turning his attention back to Eriol.

Eriol nodded but wasn't to be rushed, it seemed.

"Our plane of existence…" the boy said thoughtfully, "what would you call it? What do you believe it to be?"

Syaoran looked at him as if he had popped another eye in the middle of his forehead. "Nandete?"

Eriol nodded again at him, seemingly interested in what Syaoran had to say. "Do you believe that somewhere out there, there is another Sakura-chan? Another Syaoran? Another existence, not our own, and yet closely mirroring it?"

Syaoran pondered it, all the while thinking that maybe Eriol had finally lost it. One just couldn't live without their other half for too long, that had to be the explanation. But he seemed quite serious as he looked at him for his answer. "Do I believe in another existence which we are a part of?" he echoed hesitantly.

Eriol nodded.

Syaoran blinked as they walked, finally giving it the tiniest bit of thought. Another existence. That was the part that he didn't get. Sure, people said that somewhere out there everyone had a twin, someone who looked exactly like them. But someone else out there, another him, another Syaoran? No, he didn't believe it. Not unless he meant-

"As in, another world?" he asked reluctantly, already feeling quite stupid.

Eriol smiled, his first real smile. One that made his soft eyes close and gave him the face of an angel. "Exactly."

Syaoran sighed inwardly. How he had been hoping he **hadn't** meant that. "No, I don't believe in that." He replied finally, firmly. 

Beside him Eriol didn't stop smiling. "Well, Syaoran, I do. I believe in it very much. Because I've seen it, with my own eyes."

Syaoran came to a complete and total stop, looking at his companion with stunned, wide eyes. At last. At long last, Hiiragizawa Eriol had gone insane. He had always wanted to see that happen but now that it had indeed come to pass he couldn't believe it.

Eriol looked at him, eyes widening questioningly. And then he practically rolled those eyes, understanding the look he was being given. "By the Gods, Syaoran. I haven't lost it." He said with a degree of impatience in his tone. "I'm being quite serious."

"I'm hoping you're **not** being serious." Syaoran returned hesitantly.

"I'm very serious." And Eriol took him by the arm once more, prodding him on. "One night, left alone to my own machinations, I began to experiment. And lo and behold I come across a small spell I had put together a very long time ago." He shrugged. "I had done it just to see if it were possible, interested to see what would come about. And it worked. It worked quite well."

Syaoran was frowning. "Make some sense, Eriol. And get to the good part. The part where just maybe there's some semblance of reality."

Eriol nodded, motioning for him to be patient. "I opened a portal, Syaoran." He said at last, just coming right out with it. "There are many different existences, many different…**dimensions**, if you will."

Syaoran remained wordless as they walked.

"I opened the way to one of these existences and it runs directly beside our plane of existence. It goes according to the time we go by. In this reality you are the same age as yourself in that reality. But I believe all similarities will end there."

"What do you mean?" Syaoran asked instantly. "Help me out here…"

Eriol paused, causing Syaoran to stop with him. "The life you live here is probably quite different from the one you live there. In this world, Sakura was Mistress of the Cards. In that world, maybe the Cards never existed. Maybe they did exist but they fell into your hands the fateful day of your judgment. Or maybe," he said, voice becoming soft, "someone else has them in their possession. Someone stronger than the both of you."

Syaoran was staring at him, following with what he said.

"My point, however, is this." Eriol continued. "In that world, it's quite possible Sakura is still alive. It's quite possible she is Mistress of the Cards. And it's quite possible," his eyes darkened, "she is just another normal person. That reality is different from ours. The way they run their lives. The sort of rules they live by."

Another breeze blew, tousling Syaoran's hair and blowing Eriol's dark locks into his eyes. The dark-haired boy ignored it but Syaoran reached up to run his hand through his own hair.

"I can let you see, Syaoran. I can let you have a glimpse of what the other world is like. Let you see Sakura again." And he smiled, the smug look coming back into that face. "But I can't guarantee what kind of reaction you'll have to seeing her again."

Syaoran stared at him, lips parted in a mixture between disbelief and suspicion. "I don't…believe you." He said slowly.

Eriol cocked his head. "Why would I lie?" he asked patiently.

"Why would you help me?" Syaoran countered. He glared at his companion, eyes narrowed. 

Eriol seemed to glare right back for a moment. "There are many reasons why I would help you, Syaoran. I would help you because I also miss Sakura-chan. I would help you because it's a sad sight to see her grave when she should have been living her life to the fullest." He clenched his jaw as he spoke, eyebrows drawing in. "And I would help you because it's pitiful to see you wither away into nothing. It would be the last thing Sakura wanted."

Syaoran didn't believe a word of it, not really. But something had entered Eriol's eyes during his little reasoning and it was still there, even as he insulted him once more.

"You miss her, don't you?" Syaoran asked him, tilting his head. "You miss her just as much as I do, just as much as Daidouji-san. You just won't admit it."

"I admit to that and much more, Syaoran." He cut him off irritably. "I admit to caring dearly for Sakura-chan. Caring for her as if she were my proper daughter. Which in a sense, she is. And I have found a way to bring her back. But if I go to get her I won't be able to come back. Once I pass through the portal no one will be holding it open from our side. It will close and I will be trapped there."

Syaoran looked incredulous. "So you want **me** to go?" he asked in disbelief. "For Heaven's sake, Eriol. I know you hate me but I didn't think it was to that extent-"

"I will be holding the doorway open." He said, effectively shutting him up. 

Syaoran could just hear what he was thinking.

**Baka.**

"Once I open the doorway I can hold it open from this side. It's quite simple, your task. Go in. Take a look around. Find out a few things. Track down Sakura. See what kind of life she lives. Then, very simply, come back and fill me in. If nothing comes out of it, you'll at least have seen her."

Syaoran pondered his words carefully, wondering dimly if he were in a dream. Because this shouldn't really have been possible at all. It was never a good thing to play around with Fate. She was a cruel and vengeful creature. 

This was somehow going to blow up in his face, he knew.

"Eriol." He said very slowly. "I am going to put my life in your hands and I am going to trust you to watch my back and talk me through this." He said softly. "Ok?"

Eriol was practically jumping up and down gleefully at the end of his sentence. "Yes, yes. Of course." He said, feigning complete and utter sincerity.

Syaoran nodded, as if to close the bargain. "Then, show me this other existence." He said firmly.


	2. The Small Journey

The Small Journey

The Small Journey

Syaoran glanced around as Eriol opened his front door for the both of them. He had a backpack strapped to his back, ready for the experiment. And money, just in case, although he didn't really plan on being there too long. Should it work he would most likely return but at the moment all he wanted was to take a look at this other existence, see how others lived.

"Nakuru!" Eriol called as he held the door open for Syaoran to pass through. He shut the front door and glanced around as well, keys jingling in his hands.

From the second floor of his home a young woman appeared, hesitating near the banister. "Eriol." She replied, looking from him to Syaoran. She had long brown hair, a simple braid hanging out from the rest of her hair, and she was dressed comfortably.

Syaoran knew differently. She looked like a woman. Acted like a woman while outside in the world. But in this space, when in the presence of Eriol, she was neither male nor female. Nakuru was a magical creature, Ruby Moon her true name and form.

But he was used to seeing Akizuki Nakuru as female and he doubted he would ever change the way he saw her.

"Nakuru," Eriol was continuing, turning to head down the hallway beside the staircase Nakuru rested on. "We're going to be downstairs, trying something out."

Syaoran nodded a greeting to her and she nodded back silently, dark eyes not once leaving his as he followed Eriol.

Halfway to a small door in the side of the staircase, a small kitten suddenly appeared, coming forth from a shadow. His blue eyes focused on Syaoran, pupils shifting into ellipses as light fell upon his tiny face.

"Eriol." The kitten said, voice soft and almost feminine.

"Morning, Spinel Sun." Eriol said wryly as he unlocked the basement door. "You know of course you slept the whole day away."

The cat wound around Eriol's legs, no doubt with the primitive instinct to trip each and every person he encountered. "I would not have it any other way." He replied and then he looked at Syaoran once more, gazing at him. "Welcome, Syaoran."

"Spinel Sun." Syaoran nodded.

The cat tilted his head, looking up at Eriol once more. And with a small purr he suddenly sprang, coming to a rest on Eriol's shoulder. "What are we planning here?" he asked slowly.

Eriol glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, a small smile curling his lips. "Nothing at all, really." He said in a nonchalant tone as he pulled the door open. "I thought I would show Syaoran the new experiment." And he began to descend into the darkness of the basement, the shadows swallowing him up.

"Oh, really?" Spinel Sun asked as they climbed down. Syaoran followed silently, glancing back over his shoulder to see Nakuru leaning over the side of the banister, a tiny smile on her face. He felt a shiver run down his spine but ignored it, straightening firmly.

"Watch your step." Eriol called back up to him just as he tripped over something. He couldn't see in this godforsaken darkness and it smelled musty, like old wood and dust.

"Jeez, you practice your magic down here?" Syaoran asked, wanting to pull forth a ward and light his way. But he could smell the decay of the wood and heaven forbid he fall and set the place on fire. 

A light went on below and he frowned at seeing the simple basement. Several old books sat in a bookcase along the far wall but other than that there was nothing but dust and cobwebs, and an old rotting table in the middle of the room. He hesitated, finally able to see the cracking steps underneath his feet, and he glanced back to see that he had tripped over a rotting footboard. "Are you sure you're the reincarnation of Clow Reed?" he mumbled, making the rest of the way down.

Eriol smiled at him cheerfully, touching a dusty old tome resting on the table. "I'm quite sure." He said and he snapped the fingers of his other hand.

More lights suddenly flared and it wasn't the artificial light of a lamp that Syaoran saw. All around, candles came to life, flames bursting from the wicks, and before his very eyes a strange change seemed to wash over the room. The table suddenly seemed to gleam, straightening upon sturdy legs, fresh shellac in a mahogany tone sweeping across its surface. The cobwebs were pushed away, vanishing into the corners, and the books in the bookcase suddenly seemed new, fresh leather binding their spine. Syaoran's lips parted at the sudden change, at realizing that the old musty scene he had witnessed earlier was nothing but a mere illusion.

"Come, Syaoran. Let me show you something." Eriol said, motioning gently for him to near.

Syaoran did as he asked, still amazed at the change in the room. He paused next to Eriol and finally turned his attention to what Eriol was pointing at, long slender finger running underneath handwritten text. "What am I looking at?" he asked quietly.

Eriol smiled again, faintly. "Your spell. The one that will let you see Sakura again." He answered, gazing at him from up close as if to gauge his reaction. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Syaoran didn't understand the writing that Eriol was pointing to. "What…language is this?" he asked with a frown, squinting. As if it would help him understand it better.

"Old Latin." Eriol said with a shrug. "Don't bother trying to understand it. Even if you knew the language you wouldn't be able to decipher any words."

"It's encrypted?" Syaoran asked with a lift of his eyebrows.

Eriol's face remained blank. "It's the handwriting. I believe the term used today is chicken scrawl." He shrugged once more. "I didn't care about my writing so long as I got the words down."

Syaoran allowed a wide grin to lift his lips as he glanced at Eriol.

The dark-haired boy studied him, eyes narrowing the slightest bit. "It's good to see you smile like that." He said quietly. "You haven't allowed yourself a smile like that in a long while."

Syaoran stared at him, his grin fading a bit into a knowing smile.

Eriol nodded at him thoughtfully. "Now, then. I ask again. Are you ready for this?" he repeated. "You can say no and I would not hold anything against you."

Syaoran straightened, back down to business. "I'm ready for this." He said firmly. "It's only going to be a short trip, no problem. I'll be in and back." He glanced at Eriol, fingers running across the smooth page of the tome. "What's my time?"

Eriol paused, giving it a moment's thought. "I'll give you three hours. Three hours to take a look around and take in as much as you can. Then you come back." He instructed.

"Three hours." Syaoran nodded. "And if I'm not back in three hours?"

Eriol stared at him. "Do you plan on staying in a strange world you know nothing about?" he countered simply.

Syaoran shook his head, hesitating as Spinel Sun fixed him with cold gray eyes. "No, I mean what if I run into a problem and I can't get back. What if it takes more time?"

The dark-haired boy thought it over for a second. "Don't worry yourself. I will hold the doorway open for you to return. But I do expect you to start making your way back to this spot in under three hours." And his tone was final.

Spinel Sun yawned, tongue rolling as his eyes slid shut.

Syaoran stared at him and then nodded. "I understand. Let's just get started." And he turned to face the book again, only then seeing a deck of red cards lying on the table surface. He came to a complete stop, his jaw dropping open.

"The…Clow Cards?" he uttered, staring in disbelief. And then his eyes swept up toward Eriol's face. "You…changed them back?"

Eriol looked at the deck of Cards also, eyebrow lifting. "I had to." He said quietly. He threw a quick look at Syaoran as suspicion entered the auburn-haired boy's face. "I did it for the Cards." He said by way of explanation. "Without Sakura they would have died along with her. The only way for them to live was to have a new power source and I became that power source."

Syaoran stared at him, feeling suddenly sorry he had thought for a moment that Eriol had done it just for more power. How thoughtless. He had never really contemplated the consequences of Sakura's death on the Sakura Cards.

"They are more than just Cards." Eriol whispered, eyes flicking across the page of the tome.

Syaoran nodded, eyes downcast. "I know." He murmured sorrowfully. He reached out slowly and ran his finger down the surface of the top card, lifting it into his hand after a moment and flipping it to look at the other side.

The Hope Card.

He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. He and Sakura had created that Card. The two of them, with their love for each other.

He set it back quickly, facing it down once more. "All right." He sighed. "Get me out of here."

Eriol looked at him, black hair sweeping across his eyes, candlelight reflecting off his glasses as he placed them on his face. "Very well." He said. And he shrugged gently, urging Spinel Sun down off his shoulder.

The kitten hopped onto the table and then quickly off, trotting off to a darkened corner to play spectator.

Eriol took hold of Syaoran's arm, pulling him away a bit and then turning him to face the opposite wall, wordlessly. Once he had Syaoran where he wanted him he returned to the book, taking it into his hands. He skimmed the words, frowning faintly, the words reflected in the glasses.

And very softly he began to murmur something, under his breath.

Syaoran glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to move from the exact position Eriol had put him in. The dark-haired youth was mumbling something in a different language, one he didn't recognize but it was beautiful to hear the words spill from Eriol's mouth. Very soft, almost gentle.

"Release." Came the word then.

Across the table a small black light sparked, close to Syaoran. He looked at it quickly, staring as it streaked down the table, a staff forming as it trailed. Not even looking up from his reading Eriol reached out and took it, holding it as his side as he continued reading. 

Syaoran faced forward again, swallowing. There was the faint prickle in the air, of magic and darkness mixing and spreading. It hadn't felt like this when Sakura had used her magic. Her magic had been light, airy almost. Pink or white if it had had a color. Eriol's magic was blacker than the shadows of night.

One last word came from Eriol's mouth and he suddenly pointed with his staff, toward a spot before Syaoran. And as Syaoran looked ahead, a second black spark sizzled, hovering in mid-air. He stared, eyes widening the slightest bit, anxious of what was to come.

The spark widened, becoming a small flat sphere. Like a window or a mirror. A flat surface in through which he saw dark shadows and light at the end of what seemed to be an alleyway. He frowned, squinting, and took a step forward, wanting to understand.

The light at the end of the darkness wasn't sunlight, he realized. It was lamplight, throwing shadows across what seemed to be a street or a road.

"Three hours." Eriol said as he took another step. 

Syaoran looked at him quickly to see him staring at him, one arm extended, staff pointing the way. His other arm still held the leather bound book cradled against his body.

"You have three hours." Eriol repeated.

Syaoran nodded, slowly, to show he understood and then he faced forward again, taking another step. Standing before the crackling portal he hesitated, examining it with wide eyes. His heart was thumping, he realized. Very loudly. He swallowed, licking his lips absentmindedly and then closed his eyes, inhaling to calm himself.

**One step. One step.**

With an inhalation he stepped through, vanishing into the doorway.

He suddenly sat up, chocolate brown eyes narrowing. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He snapped his head to the side, seeing guards on either side of him, his advisor hovering directly to the right.

"Syaoran-sama." His advisor, a young woman with deep black hair asked, gazing at him worriedly. "Nan desu ka?"

He swallowed, feeling the strange prickling of magic. Magic not his own. He studied the guards on either side and then raised his head straight ahead, down toward the double doors of the room. 

"Clow." He uttered coldly.


	3. The Confusion

The Confusion

Syaoran fell through, feeling as if something had been restraining him and had finally let go. He staggered a bit before righting himself, looking up slowly to find himself at the base of a huge corridor. An alleyway, perhaps but that wasn't a street at the mouth. It was more of a road, with lamplight falling across the opening. 

Glancing over his shoulder he saw the portal still hanging open and Eriol just inside, a small smile on his face. "Eriol-"

"It's all right." He said with a reassuring nod. "Just take a look around and come back. I'll be here waiting."

Syaoran swallowed, still looking at him. He was having doubts now. This was entirely too different. What if he got lost? What if things were radically off in this existence? What if he was dead here and he came across someone who recognized him?

"Find Sakura." Eriol said quietly.

And he straightened, understanding what Eriol meant. What was this feeling of uneasiness compared to the sorrow of never looking in her face again? Of never hearing her jubilant laughter echo throughout the hallways of his house, through the recesses of his mind?

What did any of it matter?

With a tightening of his jaw he turned to face forward, adjusting his backpack. He wasn't sure why he had brought it along. Originally he had thought to spend more time here but Eriol always knew more and if three hours was enough for now, then three hours was enough. For now. 

He slowly walked down the alleyway, looking ahead cautiously. Nothing was visible save for the lamplight. A shadow scurried to his right and he looked quickly but then exhaled as it became a rat. Small noises reached his ears, a yell far off followed by laughter. Loud but muffled thumps.

Upon reaching the end of the alleyway he paused and glanced out. 

And the noise suddenly became loud, an open window right beside him as he peeked out. He recoiled a bit, eyes drawn to the light, realizing that the lamplight shining into the alleyway was this light. This was a bar that he was looking into. He could see round tables and a counter where the bartender was serving up drinks. Laughter rang out from a raucous bunch as they were served drinks. Drinking contests were going on in the tables in the back and as he looked closer he saw swaying figures making rounds, women giggling and flaunting what they had to eager customers.

Wasn't that illegal? This was straight out prostitution, he thought to himself, watching a woman beckon to a man and first take the dollars in his hand before grabbing his hand and leading him toward the back of the bar.

"No money?" someone asked him, sounding close to his side.

He jumped and whirled, straightening to look into the face of an old drunk, the liquor stale upon his breath. Syaoran grimaced, backing away a step and he shook his head. "No." he replied. "Too young to get in."

The drunk stopped staggering and eyed him. "Too young to get in?" he echoed and he motioned.

Syaoran glanced over his shoulder and stared as a pair of boys, no more than thirteen years of age, raced up and shoved their way in, waving bills in their hands at the nearest woman. She turned to them, swiftly taking the money and counting it before nodding in appreciation and taking both boys, one in each hand, and heading towards the back.

The drunk patted him on the back before swaggering over and pushing in also. A loud group inside cheered as he entered, beckoning for him to join them and he did so, practically dropping dead in a chair they cleared for him.

What kind of place was this?

Syaoran hunched his shoulders and quickly passed by the window, bowing his head against the light. The streets were deserted and as he slowed to take everything in he frowned at the pavement. It wasn't pavement. It was cobblestone. He slowed further, glancing around before stopping altogether and inspecting the stones. He even passed his hand over the stones, fingers coming away dirty. Further down the street there were more lamps burning but no streetlights, no artificial lights at all. He looked about, lips parting, a frown crossing his forehead.

How was he supposed to find Sakura when this place didn't seem familiar at all?

And then, as if his prayer was being answered, his eyes caught sight of an old, dilapidated store that he found only too familiar. In fact, if he looked closer he was almost positive he was a block away from the old elementary school he had been enrolled in with Sakura when they had been rivals for the Clow Cards. Which meant Sakura lived…

He rose quickly, knowing where he was going and knowing it wouldn't take him anymore than ten minutes to get there if he ran.

"Syaoran-sama!"

He whirled as the husky voice of his advisor reached his ears, long robes swirling about his tall, slender frame. 

The woman caught up, hesitating before him, a worried frown on her face. "Daijoubu, Syaoran-sama?" she asked, looking up at him with long, cat-like eyes. "You raced out of there as if you had the devil-"

"I feel him." He cut her off, eyes narrowed in cold fury. "Clow. I feel him as if he breathed down my neck."

"Clow?" she asked, face paling. And then, to soothe him, "You're imagining things, my Lord. Clow can't get within yards of you without your wards trapping him. Please, Syaoran-sama, come back-"

He suddenly reached out, fingers wrapping around her neck and he thrust her against the wall, holding her there as she gasped. The anger had not left his face and as she looked at him she saw it vanish into icy animosity. She swallowed, grimacing as he tightened his grip on her and she slowly composed herself, jaw clenching. 

"Don't fight me when I tell you something, Hikaru." He growled at her, coming close enough to inhale her scent. A powerful, potent perfume and the scent of fear, clinging to her form. His eyes darkened as he brought his face close to her ear. "I sense him. In the hallways. In the rooms. In this very corridor."

The advisor nodded in acceptance, eyes shifting down and away from his stony face. It was better not to provoke him when he became angry. Swallowing once more she slowly lifted her arms, one hand wrapping around his hand that trapped her to the wall, the other coming to rest against his chest. "Gomen nasai, Syaoran-sama. I was wrong to ignore the severity of the situation. It won't happen again."

He stared at her, eyes glittering in the light of the torches lining the walls of the corridor. "Make sure it doesn't." he whispered through clenched teeth, breath warm against her neck. And very slowly, with the touch of a lover, he brushed his lips to that tender spot behind her ear, nuzzling her skin.

The advisor let her eyes slide shut, lips parting. 

But a moment later he pulled away, a knowing and cruel smile quirking the corners of his lips. He released her, fingers trailing away from her neck and he turned away, floating down the corridor, robes floating.

Hikaru stared after him, breath rapid as she pulled away from the wall. And a small smile lifted her lips as well as she strode off in the opposite direction.

He paused outside his room, hesitating for some strange reason. He felt him still, his presence, but now that he focused intensely on it, he realized it was indeed his presence but somehow split. He didn't know how else to describe it. He inhaled deeply, frowning to himself.

If Clow wanted another battle, he would have it. He was not going to get control of the Cards again, no matter what army backed him and what tricks he had up his sleeve.

He threw his door open, stepping in and came to a dead stop when he saw the feminine figure silhouetted against the moon shining outside his window. For a moment he stared, trying to make out her face but as she turned to be revealed by the moonlight he realized that he didn't recognize her. A new face, fairly attractive, with a beautiful figure clothed in nothing but a sheer wrap.

"Are you the flavor of the day?" he asked sardonically, shutting the door behind himself. 

"Hai." Came the soft response and then she was floating forth, shedding the wrap to stand nude before him.

He let his eyes travel over her for a good few moments, taking in every curve and every shadow. After he had his fill he nodded, almost impatiently. "You'll do."

Without another word the woman wrapped her arms around his shoulders, allowing him to have his way with her.

Syaoran glanced around, slowing to a stop. Was this still the right way? He couldn't be sure, what with the houses and shops falling apart, and the streets tripping him in their deterioration. More lamps lit the street, the fire encased in the glass, smoking out through the top. He grimaced, shaking his head at himself. He wasn't sure anymore.

A hand suddenly wrapped around his mouth, an arm winding around his waist, and he began to fight, kicking out as he was dragged backwards. A horrid smell assaulted his nose, coming from the person holding him, and he felt more hands digging into his pockets, pulling out whatever money he had.

Angrily, Syaoran rammed an elbow backward, catching his attacker in the ribs. A muffled, "Oomph!" broke from the man, grip loosening, and Syaoran shoved away, whirling in a ready stance. A shadow scurried close to his left, moving to escape, and Syaoran lifted a hand, a thin slip of paper ready.

He wasn't going to let them get away that easily.And he wasn't going to need his sword for this. Murmuring a quick spell he held the paper up and from its surface lightning broke out, streaking out and striking the ground directly before the escaping shadow. The man shrieked in horror, automatically flinging himself away from the sparking scorch mark and back toward Syaoran. 

Syaoran took hold of him, yanking him up and glaring him dead in the face. "Do it again and I do some **serious** damage." He growled quietly. And his eyes slid toward his accomplice, the same threat thrown in his direction.

But then the man in his grip began to wail, eyes widening. "Syaoran-sama! No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you! We didn't know-"

Syaoran stared at him as he rambled on with his apologies, begging forgiveness.

"Here! Here's the money! Take it back! **Take it back!**"

Syaoran shook his head, lips parting. "Wait. Wait. How do you know my name? How do you know…why are you calling me that? Stop for a second!" he shook the man impatiently and then tightened his grip on the man's collar. "Stop and tell me how you know my **name!**"

The man dissolved into tears, wailing and sobbing, mumbling more apologies and begging for his life.

And Syaoran still had him by the collar when figures rounded the corner of the block, dressed in a uniform of sorts.

"Syaoran-sama! It **is** you!" one of the figures said in surprise as the others swarmed around the offending attackers. "We heard the commotion but we didn't expect to actually find you here! Are you all right? What are you doing outside the Square?"

Syaoran allowed one of the newcomers to take hold of his attacker, flinging him away as if he were an insect. "You disgraceful piece of slime! How **dare** you attack My Lord?" And at his words Syaoran's eyes grew large, lips parting in disbelief.

"What-"

"Take him!" The man who had initially spoken to Syaoran commanded. And his fellow guards took hold of one of the attackers, the rest racing after the second attacker as he went to escape. 

Syaoran merely watched it happen, struck dumb by what was happening. The guards scuffled with his attackers and he saw then, realized that he had almost been robbed by two homeless derelicts, their clothes stained and torn. The first guard stood at his side protectively, barking out orders to bring the bums in and all Syaoran could do was feel somehow sorry.

"Come, Syaoran-sama. We will take you home." The guard at his side said at last, once the derelicts had been taken away. And gesturing for him to follow the guard began to lead the way.

Syaoran reluctantly followed, looking over his shoulder in the direction he was sure Sakura's house lay.


	4. The Confrontation

The Confrontation

The Confrontation

He looked up, feeling a strange disturbance. There was suddenly a lot of noise going on outside his room, shouting, and loud questions being asked. Above him, straddling him, the concubine was aware of nothing, her mouth brushing feather light kisses across his neck, long fingers tangled in his hair. Without saying a word he shoved her away, sitting up in the bed.

"Syaoran-sama, nande-"

The door flew open a moment later, Hikaru bursting in. "Syaoran!" And then she caught sight of the other woman in the room futilely trying to clothe herself with the blanket on the bed. 

He rose from the bed, bare-chested, loose pants tied around his slender waist. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded and he reached toward a nearby chair, pulling off the shirt hanging from it. 

Hikaru looked straight at him, cat eyes narrowed. "Perhaps it would be best if you saw for yourself." She replied and she waited as he buttoned the shirt over himself. He did so and cast a backward glance at the concubine as he strode out the door, Hikaru at his heels. "Get out." He ordered the woman. "I don't want to see you when I get back."

Syaoran looked up, every pore of his body aware that something was about to go terribly wrong. He had been waiting for a while, waiting for someone to come and speak to him and yet no one would answer his questions. Most people he encountered appeared to be guards, making some kind of rounds. Any other person who was not a guard seemed to be some sort of maid. 

At the moment he stood in a large, empty room. There were several potted plants in the room with him, some hanging from the ceiling. But other than the plants and a carpet on the ground there was nothing. He hesitated, seeing two glass doors at the back of the room, curtains pulled away and fastened to allow moonlight in. It was a lovely moon. One good thing about this ugly world.

Making sure no one noticed, he carefully wandered over to the doors and peeked out. There was a long walkway there, connecting more rooms as he looked both ways. Like a square. And in the center of the square, underneath the balcony was what could have been a type of courtyard, water fountains spewing the liquid from the mouths of angels. He opened the doors slowly, exhaling thankfully when he didn't make a noise. Once outside he glanced over the edge of the balcony and looked down.

Women floated back and forth, several chatting, others seated along the fountains, writing by the light of the moon. He observed them thoughtfully, wondering why there were so many of them and what they could all be doing there.

At that moment a side door opened and a young woman came out, dressed in a long, flowing gown. Her hands were fisted in the wide sleeves and she raised them to her face, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Minaya-chan!" cried one of the women circling the square. She hurried toward the sobbing girl and embraced her. "What happened?"

Syaoran tried to hear what the girl said but she whispered it much too low for him to hear. In response, however, the woman embraced the girl again, shushing her sobs tenderly.

And then a woman below, off to the side, suddenly gasped, "Syaoran-sama!" and all eyes below flew toward him. He recoiled a bit at suddenly being the center of attention for every woman down there. 

The sobbing girl began to cry harder, ducking her face from his view and hiding behind her friend.

"Wasn't she good enough?" her friend asked, looking up at him as she blocked his view from the girl. "What did she do wrong?"

Syaoran stared at her and then quickly glanced behind him to see if she spoke to someone behind him. No, she was definitely speaking to him. He turned back to face her and hesitated, trying to think of what to say. After a moment's thought he said feebly, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

The woman's jaw dropped open as she stared at him in disbelief.

He stared right back, eyebrows drawing in. What else could he possibly say? He didn't understand anything at all, didn't understand why he had been brought here. All he knew was that he had been waiting for such a long time and he guessed he had under an hour to start making his way back to Eriol.

Another side door opened and a small shadow slipped out, a long gown clothing her slender frame. Syaoran looked over quickly, needing a distraction from the accusation that had suddenly entered the woman's eyes below.

And he stared in complete and utter awe.

Kinomoto Sakura floated out, red hair falling along the sides of her face gently. Her green eyes scanned the courtyard cautiously and then, upon noticing that all eyes below were raised to the balconies above, she also looked up.

Syaoran gazed at her, chest tightening. She was beautiful. Here. Everywhere. Anywhere. Her pink lips parted as she looked back at him, slim figure stiffening the slightest bit. And then those green eyes shifted to his immediate left, widening in confusion. Down below, several gasps rang out.

He whirled, coming face to face with himself. All breath stopped reaching his lungs as he froze in disbelief.

His double studied him with narrowed brown eyes, dark hair tousled a bit by a gentle breeze. And yet, he didn't seem the least bit surprised to be face to face with a copy of himself.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my home?" his double asked him, his voice smooth. But in the depths of that voice was an arrogance, a cold tone underneath seductiveness.

Syaoran parted his lips, speaking faintly. "I'm…you." He whispered dumbly.

His double tilted his head to the side quickly, a small smile playing upon his lips. "I can see that." He replied in slight amusement. "Rather ingenious, I must admit. But how far did you really think you would get?"

Syaoran stared at him. "What…do you mean?"

His double continued to gaze at him. Syaoran half expected him to lick his lips, he was looking at him so hungrily. "I mean exactly what I said. It's quite obvious you're working under Clow. I commend you on the fact that you made your way here. But really, once here, how far did you think you'd get, with me being here?"

Syaoran blinked in confusion. Too much was happening and not a damn thing was making sense. "I'm not…working under Clow. Or actually, maybe I am. But he doesn't go by that name anymore-"

"I don't care what name he goes by." His double suddenly spat, cutting him off in mid-sentence. "Are you some kind of fool?"

Funny, how he could insult him upon their first meeting. It seemed he let too many people get away with that. With a sigh Syaoran shook his head. "You don't understand. I'm not from around here. I'm actually from a different world altogether and right now my friend, Eriol, he's Clow Reed reincarnated-"

His double listened for all of a moment before silencing him with a finger upon his lips. Syaoran broke off, eyes widening as his double shushed him almost tenderly.

"Clow Reed has not been reincarnated. Clow Reed is not **dead**. Secondly, you must think me a fool by feeding me this line." He glared icily, finally drawing back his finger. "I'm quite sorry I don't believe your lies but I'm afraid I must have you arrested now. I'm sure they'll find a comfortable holding cell for you."

Syaoran let his breath rattle out. Arrested? For what? "You don't understand." He said quickly. "I have to start making my way back. Now. Eriol's waiting, he's holding the doorway open and he's going to be furious if I don't get back in the next few minutes-"

"Eriol." His double let the name roll off his tongue. "Clow Reed's reincarnated soul."

Syaoran nodded. "Yes, exactly." He said. "I need to get back right now. So if you will just point out the way-"

His double didn't budge from his spot before him. Instead he smiled, cattily, and lifted a hand, motioning behind him. "Hikaru."

At the door of the room stood a woman, tall and slender, with long dark eyes and black hair. She bowed her head at his bidding and then pulled open the door at her side, allowing several guards to enter the room.

Syaoran backed up a step, stiffening.

His double didn't stop smiling. "Take him." He ordered and then he simply turned away, floating toward the doors as the guards came forth, surrounding Syaoran and cornering him against the balcony.

"M-Matte…" he uttered, backing away from the guards as they came closer.

One guard lunged at him, hand swinging. Syaoran ducked away, colliding against the balcony wall. And he quickly glanced over, looking down. At least twenty feet down. He could make it if he jumped. Maybe. 

But then he saw the tapestries hanging along the balconies, and there was one directly below him. 

Just as a hand clamped down on his shoulder he flung himself over, taking hold of the material and hanging on for dear life. Down below he heard gasps ring out and he looked to see the women below scatter in opposite directions. He slid down the tapestry, landing on the ground in a matter of seconds and then he glanced up, a quick smile playing across his lips.

The guards were shouting down to him, the leader motioning for them to circle about and cut him off. 

Syaoran whirled to escape to his right, eyes searching the courtyard for an easy way out. And amidst the flurry and commotion of women was the single form of Sakura, not having moved from her spot at all. Her green eyes gazed at him, slender arms raised before her in a worried gesture.

He came to a complete stop, staring at her wordlessly.

**Sakura…**

Behind her, the side door opened and guards came out, rushing around her and heading toward him. He backed up a step, torn between escaping and going toward Sakura, taking hold of her arm and forcing her to run away with him.

He pulled forth a slip of paper, bringing it before his face and murmuring words. Fire suddenly burst from the slip, tongues dancing in the night and he flung the paper down, watching as it streaked out to form a barrier of fire. The guards came to a stop on the other side of the wall of flames, anger and surprise registering on their faces.

Sakura stood where she was, eyes still caught on him, and her figure danced in the heat of the flames.

**I'll come back for you.**

Syaoran whirled and fled, diving around water fountains and throwing himself into another side door and disappearing out of it.

Up above on the balcony his double watched curiously, eyes focused on the wall of fire that had trapped his guards. He had recognized the words, had remembered them from when he had been a simple magic user. So long ago. 

His eyes flickered toward the red-haired girl, studying her just as keenly. A pretty little thing, no doubt. But what was his sudden interest with a concubine?

"Hikaru." He called, arms folding over his chest. As his advisor neared he motioned down below was his chin. "That girl there, with the red hair. Have her sent to my room. Tonight." And without another word he turned and strode out of the room, heading back toward his quarters.


	5. The Capture

The Capture

The Capture

Which way? **Which way?**

Syaoran looked around helplessly, trying to backtrack. He had skid to a halt, almost sure he had left everyone of those guards behind him but he was completely lost now. This was not the way he had gone before, none of it looked familiar.

He ducked to the side, throwing himself into an alleyway and he looked down the entire length, seeing the end leading off into another street several feet down. It would be better than going back the way he had come, he realized. With barely another thought, he took off, racing down the alleyway in search of the way home.

He glanced up as a knock came at the door. How polite, he thought with a sneer. "Hai."

The door slowly opened and in floated the red-haired girl, green eyes downcast. She kept her eyes down as she entered, closing the door behind herself silently. 

"Konban wa." She said softly.

He studied her thoughtfully for a moment, tilting his head to get a better look at her. Yes, definitely attractive. Beautiful, in fact. Soft skin, which he noticed from where he stood. Wide, innocent eyes. Silky fine hair. And a wonderfully slender frame clothed in nothing but a sheer wrap that hid nothing from the imagination.

But, for a moment, she was also familiar.

He narrowed his eyes at her, coming closer. No, he didn't know her. Why should she be familiar?

But she had to know something about his double and he was going to get the information out of her if it was the last thing he did.

He forced a gentle smile on his face. Tenderness. He laughed at it. What was tenderness, other than weakness? Wordless for the moment, he simply held his hand out to her.

The girl grimaced faintly, turning her face away to hide the slip and without lifting her eyes to him she placed her hand in his. A cold hand, trembling slightly. He fought the frown that threatened to cross his face. 

It was an insult.

"Am I such a beast that you can't look me in my face?" he asked her quietly.

She quickly raised her gaze, fixing her eyes on him. "Not at all, my Lord." She answered, blinking wide-eyed. "I'm sorry."

He nodded, although inside he felt the need to have someone executed. "It was a simple question. I thought perhaps I had done something to offend you." And he shrugged, pulling her into the circle of his arms slowly.

She went almost reluctantly, one hand clutched in his, the other catching to grasp the back of his other arm. 

"You have a name, I trust?" he asked in a soft purr, lips close to her ear.

She was stiff in his embrace. "Yes, my Lord. It's-"

**Sakura.**

He blinked as the name came to him, just as she answered, "Sakura…" Very slowly, he pulled his head back to look at her, eyes narrowed questioningly. Her green eyes peered back, looking at him head on. 

"Sakura?" he asked her, almost hesitantly. At her nod he studied her for another long moment, blinking thoughtfully.

Why couldn't he place her face?

He pushed it aside. What did it matter if he knew her? This wasn't the reason for her being there at the moment. There were more important matters at hand. There were questions to be answered. A magic user to destroy once and for all.

And a beautiful girl to seduce.

He leaned toward her once more, lips brushing her cheek. She tilted her head away, eyes closing as he nuzzled her skin, as he pressed a soft kiss to her jaw.

"You have the loveliest skin." He said faintly, lifting a hand to brush aside her hair. The soft scent of cherry blossoms and freesia rose from her, almost assaulting him. He inhaled deeply, feeling as if this scent could somehow drug him. He wanted to taste that smell, imagined what it would be like upon his tongue. Very slowly, he parted his lips and brushed his tongue against the underside of her jaw, close to her pounding pulse. 

A soft sigh escaped her, fingers lifting to grasp him as if he were a lifeline. His hair was soft under her fingertips, her skin sensitive to the brush of his flesh against hers. Her palm was pressed to his jaw, and she felt the muscle move as he bowed his head towards her neck, frail kisses trailing the length. She grasped at him, her hand trailing down toward the column of his neck and then digging into his collar, pulling it towards the end of his shoulder.

He pulled her closer, wondering dimly in the back of his head why she had an effect on him like this. He prided himself on being the Seducer, on always getting what he wanted and then being able to turn his back on what had been given. His arm wound her waist, realizing she fit perfectly against him. His other hand lifted toward his shoulder, coming in contact with her hand already there. He trailed his fingers down the length of her arm, brushing across smooth skin towards a pale, bared shoulder. And the dizzying scent rose from her skin as well, not only her hair. 

Sakura threw her head back as he floated lower, mouth tracking a path of soft caresses along the smooth skin of her chest. And then, very slowly, she opened her eyes, shuddering as his hair brushed her jaw, and she lifted her hands to grasp his face, fingers running over the smooth bone of his cheeks. He hesitated, breath faint against her chest and then he inhaled sharply as she lifted his face and pressed the softest kiss to his forehead.

He stared at her, lips parted in helpless confusion at the emotion shimmering in her eyes. One hand dropped away from his face to brush back his hair and he couldn't understand why, why she was gazing at him with such a look of love.

Of lost love.

She smiled at him faintly, fingertips running over his brow and then she bowed her head, lips moving toward his.

He recoiled from her as if she had struck him. His hands pulled away, hair ruffling with the sudden gesture and he stared at her, eyes narrowing with anger.

Sakura stared at him, green eyes wide. 

His mouth opened to say something but nothing came out, nothing at all. No words flowed into sentences in his mind, he was so stunned. But what scared him was that this was something he had also wanted. Deep down he had wanted her kiss, had wanted to know what it tasted like upon his mouth. His anger grew at that, at such an admission of weakness. 

"You won't kiss me." She whispered, hands dragging the wrap closer to her body.

He growled low in his throat, head bowing, brown eyes glinting coldly. "I don't kiss anyone." He said, forcing patience. And he turned away from her, inhaling deeply to calm the mix of emotions running through his body. Anger, definite anger at the fact that he could let his guard down. Anger that he had misjudged her. Confusion that he knew her name deep inside, that he recognized her features as if he had been witness to their creation in a dream long forgotten. 

And pure hunger to possess her, more powerful than any pull he had ever experienced.

"Who was he?" he asked huskily, breathing to calm his pulse. 

She didn't answer his question.

He whirled on her, fury burning in his eyes. "Who was he?" he demanded, registering the confusion on her face but not caring one way or another. 

"Who?" she asked faintly.

His anger exploded then and he lunged at her, grasping her by her shoulders and shaking her roughly. A small cry escaped her as she winced, fingers pulling on the wrap tightly.

"My double! Who was he? Who made him?" he shouted.

"I don't know!" she cried at him, and she yanked herself out of his grasp, stumbling away from him. 

He glared at her, not wanting to realize how small she looked then, how disoriented. But he took it in nonetheless as she looked about in sudden fear.

"This is why I'm here." she asked him faintly. "Not because you…not because you…" she shook her head fiercely at him. "Because you don't. You don't…understand…"

"You're here because it was what I desired." He said to her icily. "You're here to please me."

She shook her head. "No-"

"Yes." He said with a sudden cruel smile. And he closed the distance between the two of them, taking hold of her hand and pulling her into his arms. She instantly resisted, flailing against him, face turned away. His hands took hold of the wrap and he yanked, wanting to see all of her. Needing to feel all of her against him. The wrap came away but even as he pulled it aside, the material floating in his grasp, she threw herself into him, embracing him tightly.

He stiffened, staring straight ahead over the head of red hair in his line of vision.

**She doesn't want me to see her…**

Her hand lifted, body hunched against him, and she swiped blindly at his hand, taking hold of the wrap once more. Anxiously, she clothed herself in it, hands folding before her chest. But she still did not remove herself from him.

He continued to stare blankly over her head. He tightened his jaw after a hesitation, hands lifting to grasp her shoulders. And then, coldly, he flung her away, leaving one hand outstretched toward her as she looked up at him, face pale. 

"Get out." He ordered in a faint, shaking tone of barely controlled patience. "Get out now before I have your head."

Sakura gazed at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. Her bare shoulders rose as she inhaled shakily but his expression remained closed, hand lifted to stop any protest. Wordlessly she turned away, pulling his door open and vanishing out like a wraith.

He stared after her as his door shut and once he was alone he faltered, knees nearly giving out. Her scent still hung in the room, invading his senses. He couldn't think. Numbly, he staggered over to his bed and tossed himself upon it, hands lifting to rub at his face.

A witch armed with a spell to ruin him. That's what she was. And he had somehow walked into her trap. Believing himself to be the hunter. How easily his defenses had crumbled against her. How weak he was, he realized. Weak now to see her face in his mind and long for it yet.

But in the deep recesses of his mind was her face, smiling jubilantly, and never before had he seen her smile like that. He didn't know her. He didn't know how he could see her smile like that when he had never encountered her before.

His door slid open silently but he heard it, was aware of another presence in the room with him. He recognized the presence immediately but didn't bother rising or saying a damn thing. Instead, he allowed the person to draw near, not lifting a protest as a soft pair of lips brushed the corner of his mouth. He turned his face away, frowning. She knew, better than anyone else that he didn't like being kissed on the mouth. It was a sign of affection and he had no affection for anyone, especially not the whores he kept in his home.

The figure straddled his weary form and only then did he turn his head to look at her. Long, cat eyes with soft hair falling down the sides of her face. She disrobed herself to loom naked above him but he didn't show much of a reaction. He exhaled as she rubbed up against him, hands moving to his collar to undo his shirt.

**You're not her.**

He frowned as he thought it but then closed his eyes to shut out Hikaru's face. It was all right that it wasn't her. He could always imagine she had red hair and green, green eyes.

Syaoran slid to a stop, at last recognizing the street he was on. One more block and he would be on his way home. There was the bar, noises still ringing from it at this time of night. He dove forward, racing with all his might. 

And only then did he see the guards coming from the opposite direction. He almost stopped, heart jumping into his mouth.

**Shimatta…**

But they were far enough away that he could risk running down that alleyway and jump through to get home. He could make it. And he had magic in case he was cornered. 

Shouts and cries cut through the night as he was recognized but he ducked his head and ran, scampering towards the alleyway.

Guards lunged at him as he reached the alley and he ducked, dove, dodged and jumped as they went to grab him. He almost let a smile touch his lips. Maybe his years of training had actually paid off. Down the alleyway he recognized the glowing portal and Eriol was visible inside, pacing.

"Eriol!"

The black-haired youth raised his head, snapping up. And he took a step forward, eyes widening at seeing Syaoran being chased.

"Nani-"

Syaoran flew forward, intent on making it. He was feet away from salvation. He could make it, he knew he could. He just had to keep running-

"Syaoran!"

Something suddenly struck him from behind, piercing his back and lodging there. With a sharp breath he went down, and he heard dimly, other objects fly passed him above. As if more than one object had been thrown to take him down. He lifted his head in time to see blue shards of what looked to be ice stab into the portal and hover there.

Eriol stood on the other side, clenched teeth visible through parted lips.

Hands took hold of Syaoran, yanking him to a sitting position and then to his feet, dragging him backward.

"Eriol-" he shouted, gasping as pain flashed up his back. "Close…the gate!"

Eriol didn't move, frame stiff with anger. But his eyes weren't focused on Syaoran. They were set passed him, to a figure standing close to his left. Syaoran looked over, struggling in the arms of his captors and his eyes widened in disbelief as he recognized a silver-haired man with cloud blue eyes, brilliant white wings at his back.

"Yue-san…"

The angel lifted off the ground and suddenly dove forth, in Eriol's direction.

"Close the gate!" Syaoran shouted, throwing himself forward only to be restrained once more.

Eriol looked from him to the angel heading for him. And as if it tore at him he threw his hand up, closing it into a fist.

The portal slid shut just as Yue reached it. He pulled short, hands lifting to touch nothing but air and he flew about a bit, scanning the alleyway.

Syaoran deflated wearily, falling into the soldier that held him and wincing as the object in his back.

Things were not looking good now.


	6. The Consequences

The Consequences

The Consequences

He rose from his bed slowly, skin tingling. There was the faint presence of magic hovering in his home, touching his skin. It was weak magic but magic nonetheless. He glanced to his side, taking in the sight of Hikaru's naked form sleeping soundly. And he felt suddenly disgusted with himself. Disgusted with her. His skin felt dirty. Tossing aside his blankets he stood to his feet, a cool breeze passing over his nude form. Sometimes it was just better to be naked. One felt free, uninhibited by any type of restraints. The way he felt now with his magic. It had taken him far too many years to reach the level he was at now. And aside from the fact that a short period of time had been erased from his memories, he felt in control of everything.

On the dresser to the side of his bed lay the pack of Clow Cards. The Li Cards now. He had never taken to calling them the Syaoran Cards. It sounded childish. 

He wasn't a child. He hadn't been a child for a long time now.

The door opened of its own accord and he glanced up, not ashamed at being caught naked. If nothing else, he was irritated that someone should come calling at that hour of the night, and without announcing themselves first.

A pale angel entered, long white hair floating around his eternally youthful face. He arched an eyebrow at his Master's nude form but didn't grace him with a comment. 

"Yue," he said to his angel, tilting his head. He turned away from the angel and moved toward his wardrobe, throwing open the doors. "Did you find him?"

The angel bowed his head. "I did." He replied. And he closed the door behind himself, eyes straying toward Hikaru's sleeping form. He glanced at his Master again but his suspicion was dismissed with a wave of the hand.

"She's asleep. And even if she hears she wouldn't betray me." His Master said in a bored tone. "What did you find out?"

Yue took another step forward, arms meeting behind his back as he said thoughtfully, "He's not from around here…"

His Master slowed, glancing over his shoulder at him wordlessly.

Yue blinked at the floor, face blank. "He was trying to get home." He said quietly. "And home isn't here."

His Master exhaled impatiently. "Make some sense, Yue." He ordered curtly.

The angel shook his head. "I don't understand it myself. But Clow did bring him here."

"Of course…"

"However." The angel cut him off, turning his head to glare at his Master, "It is not the Clow you know. In fact, the more I think about it, the less he felt like Clow. As if he were only a piece of Clow. A fraction of him."

His Master was looking at him in confusion.

Yue shook his head faintly. "I don't know." He said quietly at the unasked question. "But wherever he was going, it was a different place altogether. He was a different you. And the youth who brought him here is stronger than Clow."

"Stronger…" his Master murmured.

Yue nodded slowly. "A force to be reckoned with." He stated firmly. And he turned, heading for the door once more. "Whatever the case, we have your double in custody. He's waiting downstairs."

His Master smiled faintly, turning back toward his wardrobe. A green costume hung inside, buried to the edge of all his clothes. He slowed, reaching out to touch the costume and recognizing it. It returned him to the days when he had been a mere apprentice. When he had studied under a kindly old man alongside a young black-haired girl. His cousin. What had ever happened to her?

But then it brought him to a wall of blackness, one that extended for a period of two years in which he couldn't remember a damn thing. He stared at the costume for another moment before shoving it away. And he settled on comfortable clothing, dark pants with a dark, billowy shirt to match.

It was time to find out the truth about his double.

Syaoran lifted his head wearily from the corner of the stone room, back aching. His shirt was stained through with his blood. He had noticed it earlier, after he had been dumped in this cold room. Yue had gotten him with one of those blue shards of his, square in the back. Seeing as how it was a magical attack, the shard had vanished upon penetration but the gash left behind had been more than enough to cripple him. He exhaled painfully, leaning back against the wall.

How the hell was he going to get home? And what the hell was going on in this world that his double had so much power over people?

The wooden door to his prison slowly opened and in wandered his double, a small smile on his face. At his back were two guards and Yue, the angel hanging back cautiously.

Syaoran stared at each one in turn, gaze coming back to rest on his double. "Long time no see." He joked humorlessly.

"Indeed." His double responded smugly. He floated forth, pausing before him and then merely looked at him intently. Those amber eyes studied his every feature, pausing on one or the other thoughtfully. Syaoran stared back, face gaunt. His double's smile became a little wider as he leaned down and grasped him by the chin, examining him closely.

"An exact duplicate." He murmured. And he paused. "Except for this scar right…here." He said, thumb running over Syaoran's cheekbone. "How did you get that?"

Syaoran leveled an icy glare at him, silent.

**Oh, it was the funniest thing. I was showing Sakura how to avoid guys like you and she landed a punch right there. Pretty strong girl I had…**

"I forget." He replied instead.

His double sighed. "Hm. I see." He said softly. And he leaned away, straightening. "I spoke to that girl you were with. The red head." He said in a total change of subject.

Syaoran's eyes widened, lips parting. "Sakura…"

His double smiled cruelly. "Yes. Her." He nodded. "She refused to say how she knew you. Refused to admit she even **did** know you. But I know the truth now. Is she your lover?" he asked innocently, as if asking for the time of day.

Syaoran blinked at him. "No. No, she isn't." he answered softly. "I actually don't know her. And she doesn't know me. But I came here, looking for her."

"For her?" his double asked curiously.

Syaoran nodded slowly. "Only for her. I wasn't expecting to get caught up in this little mess."

At the door the angel shifted a bit, gray eyes hooded.

Syaoran cocked his head, looking passed his double. "Yue-san." He said, greeting him. And he looked at his double again. "Is he under your control?"

His double chuckled at the question, as if he found Syaoran to be almost cute. "And how would you know that?" he asked teasingly.

Syaoran arched an eyebrow. "Where I come from, Yue is Judge of the Cards. Keroberos is the Guardian Beast of the Seal. And Eriol had control of the Clow Cards."

"Ah, yes. Eriol. Clow's reincarnated soul." His double nodded, turning away from him to slowly pace the room thoughtfully. "It was around this point that I stopped believing you, correct?"

"Clow's …reincarnated soul?" Yue questioned faintly. "But Clow isn't dead-"

"From where I come from, he is." Syaoran said quickly, before his double could retort. "Where I come from Clow lived a long time ago. He died and his soul was split, reincarnated into two different people. Eriol and the father of my…friend." Syaoran broke off, looking from Yue to his double. "It's the truth."

"That doorway…" Yue asked, coming forward a bit, "It led somewhere else. To your home?"

"Yes." Syaoran nodded. "It's a different world from this one. Which is why you also exist in that world. And you." He said, motioning toward his double. "And Eriol, and Keroberos. Tomoyo. Meilin. Yukito-san-"

"Meilin?" His double whirled, a glare crossing his face. 

At the door, Yue's face was pale. "Yukito…"

Syaoran looked from him to his double warily. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to try to convince them.

"Enough of this." His double spat. "The girl stays with me. And you, my twin, will be executed." And without another word he fled the room, brushing by Yue on the way out.

The angel remained however, gray eyes cautious. 

Syaoran looked at him, wondering momentarily if he should ask at all. And Yue didn't seem to be budging, regarding him in much the same way Syaoran was regarding him in turn. "How did he get control of the Cards?" he asked quietly.

Yue didn't seem the least bit surprised that he asked. "I judged him to be worthy of the Cards." He replied simply.

Just like that. Syaoran nodded in understanding, leaning once more against the wall. "Was he the only candidate for the Cards?"

"Candidate?" Yue asked, surprise registering on his youthful face. "There were no candidates. Syaoran-sama challenged Clow to a battle and he was the victor. The Cards became his by right and along with the Cards were my services."

Syaoran lips parted to ask a question but the angel was still speaking.

"It was a long battle. But my young Master was stronger than Clow Reed in the end. How strange," he murmured, "that a child his age would be strong enough to defeat a wizard with Clow Reed's abilities."

"Was there no one else that day? No one else who wanted the Cards?" Syaoran asked, ignoring his rhetorical question.

Yue leveled a cool gaze at him. "You and I both know there was." He replied.

At that Syaoran straightened, eyes widening. "Sakura?"

Yue didn't bother to reassure him that it was. "Clow Reed's daughter. He wanted to pass the Cards to her. And by right, they should have been hers. She was powerful in her own respect. But the Clan Elders wanted Syaoran-sama to own the Cards. And so he went that day to win the battle and he came back Master of the Cards."

"And Sakura?" Syaoran questioned.

Yue inhaled, looking off to some point far, far away. "Syaoran…loved her." He said softly, in a musing tone. "He loved her the way you love her." And his piercing blue eyes shifted toward him for a quick moment. "But during the battle, she fell. He believed her to be dead. Everyone realized, when he returned with the Cards, that in the condition he was in he would be of no use to anyone. A grieving Master is incapable of controlling the Cards. And so the Elders had him wiped clean. Every memory of her was erased, forgotten. And with the Cards under his control, Syaoran was every bit the Master they sought. Even now his magic amazes even me at times."

Syaoran stared at him, stiff. 

He was strong. Powerful. He could probably wipe him off the face of the earth with but a thought. What had he gotten himself into?

"And Sakura? She's here now. I saw her. Does she remember?"

Yue shrugged. "I'm sure she does. She also was fond of him, when they were but children. It really doesn't matter anymore, though. Syaoran's rule is coming to an end. I feel it, especially with your presence here. Syaoran-sama must feel it as well. Perhaps the Cards are draining him. I feel a pull at times, a weakness. As if he can't support me for much longer."

Syaoran studied him closely.

**You don't have Touya-kun's strength**, he realized abruptly.

"Yue-sama!"

Both Syaoran and Yue looked towards the doorway where a guard appeared. He straightened into a salute of sorts. "Syaoran-sama wishes to see you." He said.

Yue bowed his head, arms crossing over his chest. "Yes, I'm sure he does." He murmured. And he glanced at Syaoran as he turned to leave the room. "Prepare yourself. Before the execution comes the torture."

Syaoran froze. "Torture?"

As Yue left more guards filled the room, two of them yanking him to his feet. "Matte-" he whispered as they began to drag him. "Where are we going?"

"To prepare you to meet your master." One of the guards answered, grinning coldly.

He leaned against the wall, waiting impatiently. He wanted to begin it, already. Where had Yue gone? Damn that creature for wandering at the worst times. Keroberos was even worse. He had the tendency to go off in the middle of a damn battle. In fact, when was the last time he had even seen him?

There were scuffling sounds outside the room and he looked up eagerly. About damn time. The door opened and his double was dragged in, struggling to free himself. His eyes came to rest on him and he froze, glaring at him angrily.

"I told you the truth!" his double shouted.

He merely smiled at him. "I'm sure you did. And to tell **you** the truth, I believe you. But even though I do, it just makes your death all the more necessary." The humor melted from his expression, amber eyes boiling. "With you gone I don't have to worry about having the Cards taken from me. Even though I sense your magic level and it leaves much to be desired." He shrugged.

Syaoran growled under his breath as he was chained to the opposite wall, back facing his double. He had been stripped of his shirt and his back was stained with dried blood, a wicked gash streaking across his shoulder. His blood clashed with the paleness of his skin. Beside him waited a guard, a bamboo switch in hand.

"Don't hate me, brother." His double said in a purr, striding to the door and pausing in the doorway. "But I think, had you been in my place, you would have had me killed a long time ago."

He turned to walk out.

"I wouldn't have had you killed." Syaoran murmured faintly, but loud enough to stop his double in his tracks. "You would have done the task all by yourself."

His double smirked wordlessly before leaving. 

And he had the pleasure of hearing the slash of a whip against the tender skin of his twin as he walked down the hallway.

Hikaru shifted in bed, suddenly coming awake. It was dark in the room and beside her the bed was empty. And that was odd because she had the strangest sensation, as if she were not alone in the room. 

"Syaoran-sama?" she called sleepily.

When he didn't respond she sat up slowly, glancing around. Now where had he gone? Couldn't he stay in one place for at least a second? She stretched luxuriously, glancing over at his side of the bed again with a cat-like smile. He had left the sheets rumpled as usual. But seeing as she was the one left she should make the bed.

With a yawn she rose, looking about for her cloak. Where had she left it? She couldn't very well wander the halls naked. She crouched down and searched under the bed, peering into solid darkness. With a frown she rose.

And gasped at the dark figure that reared up before her. Her eyes focused on the face, on the red-brown hair and dark eyes set in what could have been a very attractive, very sweet face.

"Clow!"

But before she could say anything else he swung at her, catching her across her temple. A groan escaped her as she fell limply into unconsciousness.

Syaoran hung from his restraints, wearily. His legs had long since given up on him and he had lost feeling in his arms. He couldn't focus very well but it was hard not to notice the blood that dripped from his back onto the stone floor. His back had also long since gone numb and he supposed he should have been thankful for that. After the tenth slash he had stopped trying to suppress any sound. Now no sound came even if he had wished to voice it. 

He hardly noticed the door open but the shrill cry of the guard whipping him did make its way through his muddled thoughts. He looked over slowly, wishing he could focus on something. All he could make out were blurred figures, guards rushing at one form clothed in black. He strained to clear his vision and for a moment one face came into crystal clear clarity.

"Kinomoto-san…" he uttered.

"Clow!" came the shout of a guard and more blurred figures blocked his view of the figure in black. He closed his eyes, hanging his head once more. He didn't want to question it. He didn't really care. All he knew was that the whipping had come to a stop for the moment.

The dark figure came into view beside him and he looked up painfully, grimacing as two hands began to undo the chains cuffed to him. His right hand came loose first and then the figure circled about, working on the left.

"Kinomoto-san…" Syaoran whispered faintly, focusing in on the still young, unlined face of Sakura's father. Kinomoto Fujitaka. Not Clow Reed. He wasn't Clow Reed.

"I know all about what is going on." Fujitaka murmured as he undid the left hand.

Syaoran fell limply into his arms, like a dead weight. But Fujitaka lifted him, winding Syaoran's arm around his neck and dragging him passed the unconscious forms of guards. 

"Where are you taking me?" he asked sluggishly.

Fujitaka looked both ways upon crossing the doorway. "To someone who can help you." He replied and he began to make his way down the hallway in the opposite direction his double had taken.

Sakura opened the door to her room at the frantic knock. Her green eyes widened, from one figure to another as she recognized them both. "Otou-san!" And then she stared in disbelief as Fujitaka unwound Syaoran's arm from his neck.

"Take him, Sakura-chan! I need to keep going." Was all he said and he thrust Syaoran into her arms, turning to float down the hallway silently.

Sakura looked down at the young man, realizing a moment later he was still awake. She quickly shut the door and dragged him across her room.

"Sakura…" he whispered almost inaudibly.

She slowed, one hand brushing across bloody gashes on his back and she stared, horrified, as the thick fluid stained her fingertips. Grimacing, she dragged his form over to her bed, not caring if he left blood all across her blankets. He groaned painfully, wincing as she laid him down, lifting his legs onto the bed as well. Once he was stretched out she quickly went towards a side door, returning moments later with a bowl of water and a washcloth.

The boy gazed at her, amber eyes shining in the moonlight sweeping in through the window beside her bed.

"Sakura." He said again. And this time he lost consciousness, head settling limply.


	7. The Depth of Anger

The Depth of Anger

The Depth of Anger

A knock sounded at the door.

Syaoran opened his eyes slowly at the quiet intrusion, blinking. The scene slowly came into focus around him and he found himself staring up at a canopy directly overhead. Mist curtains hung around him, tied back and away from the bed, allowing him a view of the rest of the room. He frowned faintly, looking about, and he shifted a bit, grimacing at a sudden soreness that swept through his entire body.

**Nani…**

The knock came again and he started. He couldn't remember at the moment but wherever he was, he wasn't supposed to be there.

To his right, a side door opened and out came Sakura, floating toward the main door directly before the bed. He froze instantly, eyes closing into slits.

Halfway to the door Sakura paused. "Hai!" she called and she quickly made her way to the bed, hurriedly untying the curtains. They fell to cover the bed softly but he realized he could see through them slightly. He doubted anyone could see in.

Sakura opened the door.

"Syaoran-sama asked for you tonight." Someone said in a husky voice at the door.

"Me, again?" Sakura asked quietly.

"He's waiting." Was the only reply.

Wordlessly, Sakura shut the door. He heard, more than saw, her float back toward the side door. He reached out slowly and parted the curtains a bit, listening to water run from behind the closed door. Things were also being moved about inside.

With a soft groan he rose onto his rear, the movement sending splinters of pain racing up his back. He reached up behind himself and touched the skin of his back cautiously. There were gashes zigzagged across the entire length, biting deep into his flesh and he exhaled in defeat as his fingertips brushed the lacerations. But he realized a moment later it wasn't as bad as he had thought. Or perhaps he had healed some. 

But how long had he been out that he had healed so much? He didn't want to venture a guess.

The side door opened and Sakura came out once more.

Syaoran's jaw dropped open.

She wore a sheer wrap around herself. That and nothing more. Perhaps in artificial light it wasn't as sheer but with the moonlight coming in through the window beside the bed he could see every singe curve of her, every tiny characteristic of her slender form.

She looked at herself in the mirror, hesitating. And after staring blankly for several seconds she laid her palms on the dresser and exhaled shakily. Her head dropped as if suddenly burdened with a heavy weight, the wrap opening in the front for him to get a pretty good look at just about all of her. Self consciously, he lifted his eyes to her face reflected in the mirror and kept them there with sheer strength of will. 

"C'mon, Sakura." She whispered to herself, "It's one night. You can do it-"

Syaoran rose from the bed silently, coming up behind her on bare feet.

"He might not even want you." She was still murmuring, "Like last time. Maybe you'll scare the crap out of him again-"

Syaoran lifted a hand and placed it on her bare shoulder.

She instantly whirled, ramming into her dresser with a cry. Bottles and tubes on the dresser top rattled and jumped, balance upset.

"Gomen! Gomen!" Syaoran said instantly, hands held out to calm her suddenly heaving figure. "I just wanted to talk to you-"

"Syaoran!" she gasped. "You scared me! I thought you were still asleep!" she leaned against her dresser, lifting a trembling hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes.

"Gomen." He said again, softer this time. And he took a step forward, taking hold of the wrap and tugging it closed around her. She recoiled a bit, eyes widening and then shamefully took the wrap herself, enfolding herself in it. Syaoran looked at her from up close, wanting her to look up but she kept her eyes on the floor, a heated blush coloring her cheeks. After a moment he stepped away again. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just woke up right now," he motioned toward the bed, "and I have no idea where I am or how long I've been out-"

"Oh, your back." She murmured, cutting him off. She rose from the dresser and wound around him, examining his bare back.

Syaoran followed her with his eyes cautiously, turning his head the slightest bit. He felt her hands on his back, cool fingertips tracing over his gashes.

"It's looking better." Sakura said quietly.

Syaoran let her poke some more, grimacing faintly when she touched some bruises.

"Arigato." He said quietly.

She paused, fingers stopping on a shoulder. "Hoee?"

He stiffened noticeably, head bowing. And then, very slowly, he turned to face her, gazing into her wide green eyes. His amber eyes flickered across her face, from one green eye to the other, lips parting.

"Nani?" she asked him quietly.

He slowly lifted his hand to her face, hesitating a hair's breadth away from touching the smooth skin of her jaw.

"You sound so much like her." He said gently, mouth tightening into a firm line as he said it.

She gazed back, staring straight into his eyes. "Who?" she asked faintly, as if afraid of the answer.

He smiled, finally allowing his thumb to pass over the corner of her mouth. "Sakura boku."

Her eyes strayed to his lips as he said it, the irises shining in surprise at his reply. And it was almost as if she were frozen in place, unable to move anything except her eyes, to memorize every detail of his face and commit it to memory. His other hand lifted to her other jaw, both thumbs tracing the lines of her jaw, fingers cupping the nape of her neck lightly.

But he allowed her to back away, her head bowing self-consciously. "I have to go." She murmured and she wound around him, avoiding his gaze.

He turned to follow her with his eyes, allowing them to skim over her for a moment. How had he ever managed to get such a beautiful woman to fall in love with him in his world? And how could he have ever let her get away? Why was he still apart from her now? 

"Where are you going?" he asked distractedly.

She pulled the wrap tighter around her as she began to pick up the bottles on the dresser top once more. "To see Syaoran…sama." She replied reluctantly, facing her dresser.

He felt a small twinge in his heart. "You're going dressed like that?" he asked, sounding blank.

She slowed for a moment, in the middle of settling a bottle of lotion. "Yes." She answered.

He paused, tilting his head. "For how long?" 

"The night." She replied instantly, as if she had been expecting that to be his next question. And she left the dresser top a mess, moving to the door as if fleeing.

Syaoran's lips parted, a frown crossing his face as he slowly, only then, understood. Understood what she was and what she was doing there. Why she was going to go see his double at this time. His voice came out faint, stricken, and his sentence made her stop abruptly, hand on the doorknob.

"You're a concubine?"

At the door, Sakura bowed her head, almost touching it to the door's surface. "No." she replied, for a moment relieving him. And then she turned her head in his direction but didn't meet his eyes. "I'm a whore, Syaoran." She spat harshly. "Concubine makes it sound almost pretty. It's not pretty. It's degrading."

Syaoran felt as if his breath had been torn from him, ripped away leaving behind a painful ache. "Then don't go!" he took a step, reaching out. "Come with me-"

"I have to go." She cut him off. And this time she did look at him, over her shoulder as she pulled open the door. "But I'll be back, the latest tomorrow morning. Wait here for me."

"Sakura-"

"Wait for me." She said again. Without another word she walked out, closing the door behind herself.

Syaoran stared after her, lips parted.

When Sakura had been alive, she had been pure. Innocence in human form. He would have waited forever for her. As long as it would have taken for her to give herself to him, body and soul. She had already given her soul at the time but they had both agreed to wait until they were older to go any further. It had been his decision and hers. And they had held to it to the end. He had never once regretted it, especially not when she had been lying in his arms, dying.

But to know that she gave herself to him, his double, who wouldn't have known the difference between innocence and the corrupt. Not with the way he was. He bowed his head slowly, feeling his stomach clench with anger. Anger at the world, for being unforgiving and for taking away the one thing that had ever truly mattered.

No. He wasn't going to let her do it, not anymore. Before this was over she was going home with him. Back to her family. Back to her friends. Back to the people who loved her.

Back with him.

Sakura slowly knocked, reluctantly rapping her knuckles on the wood of the door. No sound came from inside and she hesitated a moment before opening the door.

"Syaoran-sama? It's me-" she began, peeking in and searching the room. She took a step inside, distractedly closing the door behind herself as she looked about again.

Two hands grabbed her from behind, causing her to cry out in surprise. She stumbled, instantly flailing, and the two hands shoved her up against the door roughly. She crashed against the hard wood, a gasp breaking from her and she lifted her hands instinctively, head ducking to the side.

"I don't know what you did to me. I don't care." A soft, hoarse voice whispered in her ear. "But undo it. Now."

Sakura slowly opened her eyes, fearfully looking at her attacker, and she found herself staring into the amber eyes of her Lord. He seemed almost insane with his anger, hands gripping her shoulders with a painfully tight hold. 

"Undo it." He growled through clenched teeth, shaking her.

Sakura winced, form trembling. "I didn't do anything…" she whispered faintly, afraid to raise her voice any higher than that. He didn't seem to be fully in control and she knew that one small move to anger him could very well have her hanged.

He stared at her, eyebrows low over his eyes, fury spilling from him into the air around him, making it crackle as if he radiated magic. 

She stared back, lips parted, heart pounding so loud she was sure he heard it. It was all she could hear, pounding in her ears and reverberating inside. She swallowed, wishing she could stop breathing so erratically, chest heaving.

He studied her for a moment longer, looking from one green eye to the other, searching for the truth in her gaze. And upon finding it he seized her wrists, ignoring the grimace that crossed her face. He shoved her wrists upwards, against the wood of the door above her head and strangely enough, he also was breathing hard. His breath slipped from between his parted lips, mingling with hers and with a feral growl he invaded her space, trapping her body between his and the door.

Sakura closed her eyes again, steeling herself for anything. And she felt his presence before she actually felt **him**, his mouth stealing across the skin of her jaw. Almost in relief she slumped against the door, knees weak.

He released her wrists, hands falling to the wrap. 

Her eyes came open slowly, feeling the wrap fall away under his hands to hang from her shoulders. His breath was erratic in her ear, his lips brushing wildfire along the column of her neck and she focused on the darkness of the room, on the darkness she felt inside. He felt wonderful in her arms as she embraced him, hands lifting to cup his face between trembling fingers. 

He lowered his hands to her ribs, kneading the soft skin there and he bent into her, feeling her fingers grasp him tightly. He was losing it, he realized dimly. Just like he had the other night, he was losing to her, allowing her to work some kind of charm on him. And he wanted it to work, wanted to fall completely under spell, be enchanted with her. Because he was already there, suffocating in her scent, dizzy with her taste. His hands spread wide, lifting up her back achingly, clasping her shoulders and crushing her small frame against his. She went wordlessly, pulse pounding underneath his tongue, lips parted around a silent cry. He fit so well against her, hair soft under her fingertips, mouth teasing her skin. She threw her head back, clasping him tightly and trembling as she realized how much she wanted him, wanted to be with him. She loved him still, even after all the years that had passed, after everything that she had seen him become. 

And it was wrong. 

Tears flooded her eyes at the thought, at realizing it. And she looked up, the teardrops sliding down her cheeks and the sides of her face. 

How strange that the room could spin like this. That she could feel hot and cold at the same time. Feel as if she were on fire in his embrace and frozen to her core when he shunned her, turned her away so completely. 

His lips returned to her jaw, hands sliding upward from her shoulders to grasp her face and just as she was sure that this time he would kiss her, that she would feel his lips brush hers, his fingers slid across her tear tracks.

He froze utterly in her embrace.

Sakura leaned her head back as he slowly released her, slumping against the door once more in defeat. She didn't even want to look at him because she knew what she would see. She would see the rage in his eyes, the anger tainting his cheeks red. 

"Why?" he asked hoarsely, voice faint in the stillness of the room.

She shook her head, more tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Why?" he demanded, shouting at her. His hands clasped her shoulders once more and he shook her as if he could force some sense into her. "Why are you doing this to me? What are you trying to do?"

Sakura lowered her head, pinning him with green eyes swimming in tears. She knew her gaze was blank, her silence enough to anger him. And she was silent only because she didn't know what to say to him. He would never believe her if she said that she hadn't died so long ago, that she was very much alive and still, after all this time, very much in love with him.

**Why don't you remember me?**

He recoiled from her, hand lifting to his forehead as if he were in sudden pain. "Why can't I get you out of my head?" he raged at her, anger simmering in those amber eyes. "Why do I see you, everywhere? I can't sleep without you invading my dreams! I can't think without seeing you in my thoughts! In my head! Always!"

Sakura swallowed hollowly, staring at him silently. Her tears were slowly drying on her face, leaving her cheeks tight and rough. But she didn't brush them away, didn't move an inch from her spot.

He stared at her, shoulders heaving. "Take it away. Whatever you did to me, whatever spell you cast. Take it off me, now!"

She lowered her eyes, body strangely weary.

In her peripheral vision she saw him take a menacing step forward, his form suddenly intimidating. "Remove it or so help me I will execute you myself." He whispered faintly.

Sakura exhaled weakly, hands lifting to grasp her wrap and wind it around her cold frame once more. "There's nothing to remove. There's no spell to take off." She said quietly. "I didn't do anything…"

He hesitated before her, frame stiff. And she didn't dare meet his eyes, instead focusing on the floor.

His hand lifted slowly, a finger catching under her jaw and she looked at him fearfully as he lifted her head to him. The smile upon his lips was unexpected and she froze as he leaned forward, mouth coming close to hers. Her wide green eyes stared into his hooded amber ones, heart suddenly beginning to pound once more.

With the tender caress of a lover he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth, nuzzling her cheek.

"You die tomorrow at sunset, my love." He whispered to her.

And he took her by the back of the neck, yanking her forward. With his free hand he opened his door and flung her out, slamming the door shut on her as she spun to face him.

"No." she uttered, face paling. She threw herself at his door, lifting a hand to pound on it. "Syaoran!"

He let her pound, face dark. Once she was dead he was sure he would stop thinking about her. Stop seeing her face wherever he went. Stop thinking he could smell her in the air around him. It was only a matter of time before he returned to his normal self.

But even as the pounding stopped and he was surrounded by silence he couldn't help but turn on the nearest object in the room and lift it, tossing it angrily against his wall. The chair struck the wall with a loud crash, legs shattering, and falling to the ground in a mess of wood.

Sunset. He would be there to personally condemn her to a fiery hell.


	8. The Pain of Betrayal

The Pain of Betrayal

The Pain of Betrayal

Syaoran looked up as the door opened slowly. He leaned out from the curtains of the bed cautiously, frame stiffening. They had found him. They had come for him, to kill him for sure this time around.

He exhaled thankfully as Sakura's figure scampered in, the door closing quickly behind her. Silently, he rose from the bed to walk toward her. And he stopped in mid step, lips parting guardedly as she hunched forward against the door, shoulders trembling. He took another step uncertainly, ears pricking up when he heard a muffled sob.

"Sakura?" he asked softly, coming up behind her.

She turned with a stifled shriek, hand clasped over her mouth. And tears fell from her eyes, her cheeks pale.

"What?" he asked her faintly. And as her expression faltered once more, "**What?**" he asked in a stronger tone.

She shook her head at him silently and lifted both hands to her face, almost as if to hide behind them. She slumped against the door and slowly slid down to the floor, resting on her rear.

Syaoran stared down at her, heart pounding. He was going to kill him. Whatever had happened, whatever he had done, his twin was going to die by his hand. "What happened?" he asked her, cautiously going down on one knee.

Sakura merely wept, hands covering her face.

Warily, Syaoran sat and slid forward, coming close to her. Her long fingers were stiff against her face, clawed almost into talons, and he caught glimpses of her face in between them. Never had he seen Sakura cry like that. Not since…since…

Since they had transformed the Void Card. And she had thought him gone.

He slowly lifted his hands, grasping her wrists and pulling them from her face. She ducked her head as he did so, hiding her face behind her hair but he set her hands aside, reaching out and smoothing her locks back, feeling her tear tracks under his palms.

"What happened?" he asked her tenderly, not wanting to hear at all. He didn't want to know why she cried. He felt that whatever she said, he was only going to end up wanting to kill his double all the more. 

She lifted her eyes, inhaling to steady her breath, and gazed at him with shimmering eyes. "I'm to be executed at sunset," she whispered, and she closed her eyes, ready to cry all over again.

Syaoran stared at her, a lump in his throat. Over his damned and dead body. He smiled at her after a moment, smoothing back wispy bangs and he leaned forward, lifting his lips to her forehead.

"No, you're not," he reassured her, turning his head to lean his jaw against her brow. "We're leaving. You and me. Together. We're getting out of here and you're coming back with me to my world."

Sakura was in mid-exhalation at his words when she stiffened. "Your world?" she asked faintly. And as he pulled back she was staring at him as if he were insane.

He nodded. "I'm not from around here," he murmured, and he lowered his eyes to a lock of hair stuck to her tear tracks. Gently, he pulled it away, lips tightening. "A friend of mine opened the way here with his magic. We were curious to see what was on the other side. Or he was, rather. I came here to look for you."

"Me?" she asked him quietly.

He nodded, eyes still caught on her cheek. His thumb brushed across the smoothness, feeling its softness. 

"In my world, you died. About three months ago. You were Mistress of the Clow Cards, you revived them under your name. And you didn't have the strength to support the Cards and Yue, so you died."

She was staring at him, eyes wide. And he wasn't sure if she believed him but she seemed terribly amazed by his words. "I was Mistress of the Cards?"

He nodded. And he laughed faintly, a small grin breaking across his face. "When I first met you, I couldn't stand you. I hated that someone as weak in magic as you and as timid as you, could be the Cardcaptor," he caressed her jaw, watching himself as he did it. "But then I loved you. I couldn't help myself. You cared so much for others, cared so much for the Cards. And in the end you proved stronger anyway. You were the proper choice. And I resolved to be your guardian. To help you grow, in magic."

She gazed at him as he spoke, eyes sweeping his face tenderly.

"Did I die in your arms?" she asked softly, and she was slowly reaching a hand up to his face, cupping his cheek.

His eyes lifted to hers and he blinked painfully, leaning his cheek into her hand. "Yes," he answered quietly. "You died in my arms, at sunset, as the red streaks were swallowed by night."

Sakura's face nearly fell into tears once more as he whispered it, as he bowed his head.

"I felt it when you died. In my heart, I felt you leave. And it felt…as if you were taking a part of me with you. As if I could never be whole again," he uttered, hair falling into his closed eyes.

Sakura leaned forward, away from the door, closer to him. "You came for me. Because you loved me?"

He nodded wordlessly.

She exhaled, not knowing what to say. She felt hopeless, terrible even. At least here, Syaoran was alive. Even if they weren't together, and even if he was the person he was, he was alive. But this boy before her.

He had no one.

She slid forward, into him, and lifted her other hand, leaning her chin against his shoulder and wrapping her arm around his neck. He exhaled against her, head resting against hers as he wound his arms around her waist. And somehow, it hurt. It hurt to inhale her scent, hurt to feel her in his arms and be reminded of what had been lost. 

But she was Sakura. It was her slender frame underneath his hands, her body he felt against his.

"When I was younger, I fell in love with a boy," she whispered against his ear. "He had brown eyes. Light brown eyes. And he had dark hair that always fell into his face. No matter how many times he swept it out of his face it always fell back."

Syaoran smiled faintly, inhaling wearily.

"And this boy, he was magical. Both literally and figuratively. He was a magic user, but when I would look at him, it was like he was this purely beautiful creature. Like he was much too beautiful to really exist. I was drawn to him, drawn to his silence. Drawn to his protectiveness. I wanted to make him smile. Just once."

She hesitated, gazing out her window across the room to the moon beaming outside.

"One day I realized we were both after the same thing. He wanted something that I could get but he never asked me for it. Because he loved me, too. We had both fallen for each other in his quest."

Syaoran could see himself loving her. Wanting to be wherever she was, wanting to bask in her sunshine.

"But he and my father had never gotten along. So, instead of asking me, he went ahead and faced off against my father. And I got caught in the crossfire," she murmured.

Syaoran's embrace tightened. "The Clow Cards?" he asked.

She sighed. "They were in the middle of battle. The magic was stunning. The colors, the static in the air. The buzz. It was amazing. But they were hurting each other. And I was so scared. I was scared because I kept feeling that, no matter how the battle ended, I was going to lose someone. So I threw myself in the way, thinking if it was me to get hurt I wouldn't lose anyone. I wouldn't feel any kind of pain at losing someone."

Syaoran lifted his hand, trailing his fingertips down the bare skin of her back gently.

Sakura exhaled against him, head dropping to rest against his neck. "Otou-san ended up giving Syaoran the Cards. He just…gave them to him. To stop the battle. And then he took me home, where he nursed me back to health. I couldn't walk for half a year and the first four months I was in and out of consciousness. Without the Cards it was harder for otou-san to heal me, but he did. And it wasn't until later that I heard that Syaoran had become head of the Clan. That everyone, everywhere, knew his name. Knew him for the merciless leader that he was."

Syaoran nodded to himself in agreement. 

"He doesn't remember me," she whispered. "He sees me and it's almost as if he sees through me. He doesn't recognize me. But he feels something, I know he does. Maybe someone erased his memories, repressed them. But they're breaking through, to the point that it's driving him mad."

Syaoran swallowed, tracing small circles along the smooth skin of her back. "I think he went mad a long time ago," he murmured blankly, understanding. Understanding that without her he himself would also go insane. He couldn't live without her. This wasn't living, what he did. It was surviving, as if he went through an ordeal at night to wake up and cope all day just to go through it all at night again. He blinked wearily, feeling drained. "I think he died that day. And this other person took over his face. Became him."

Sakura didn't reply to that. Instead she breathed against him, staring at the moon hazily.

"You're what he would be now, had he never gotten his hands on the Cards," she said faintly, slumping against him in defeat. "You're the boy I fell in love with, so long ago."

Syaoran paused in the middle of tracing a tiny design on her back. 

She shifted a bit, lifting her head and looking at him, green eyes mournful. And he gazed at her, turning his head to meet her eyes.

"I missed you," she murmured. And she lifted her hand to his cheek once more, drawing him close.

He went wordlessly, heart suddenly pounding. 

Her lips met his, tenderly, almost as if afraid anything stronger would have crushed them both. She cradled him against her, breath warm against his cheek, frame trembling faintly.

**We've both lost so much. We've both been treated unfairly. We deserve this, to make up for everything that has been taken from us…**

"He won't even kiss me," she uttered sadly and he kissed her breathlessly, wanting to atone for everything his double had ever put her through, had ever kept from her. He inhaled deeply, the taste of her making him dizzy.

She returned his kiss, hand lifting to tangle in his hair, holding him close. He felt real in her embrace, felt the way she had always thought he would feel. Slim, gentle.

And desperately in love with her.

She rose onto her knees, bending over him, and he lifted his head, gazing up at her with such tenderness it made her love him all the more. He closed his eyes as she lifted a hand and pushed away a stubborn lock of hair, fingertips playing across his mouth.

A swell of emotion rose inside her, so strong it almost brought tears to her eyes once more. How cruel Fate could be. How tragically dramatic, to take him away and then return him. 

And what a kindness, to be able to be with him and never have to remember all that had happened in her own life, in her own past. To be able to wake up beside him and have him love her for the rest of her life, to brighten when he laid eyes on her, to hear him say her name, whisper it when he held her. And to hear his laughter, one sweet, genuine laugh. 

"You'll take me with you? When you go?" she asked him, almost pleading. "You won't ever leave me again?"

His expression became firm, hands releasing her to grasp her face. "Never. I'll never leave you," he swore to her, eyes shining. "And I'm never going to let you go away again from me."

She gazed at him, a tear slipping down her face. And wordlessly, she rose, pulling away from his hands and standing up. He lifted his head, a slight frown crossing his face. When she extended a hand to him he took it, rising to his feet as well. He stood over her, feeling how small she was as she swept passed him, pulling him toward the bed. 

He caught sight of it and had half a mind to dig his feet in like a puppy and refuse.

She turned to him as she came to a stop, head bowing towards his chest. His eyes strayed to the bed, lips parting questioningly. 

"Sakura?"

She lifted her head after a moment, silently brushing her lips against his. He accepted her kiss, hair sticking up on the back of his neck. He didn't know what was about to happen and it scared him, to be caught unaware. 

She broke the kiss, falling back to gaze at him solemnly. He gazed at her as well, hand lifting to her face. 

"I told her I would wait," he said softly. "That I would wait until she was ready. Until we were both ready."

She nodded to him, a small smile lifting the corners of her lips. And he felt that she understood, that she knew that in the end, his Sakura had never been ready. Had never been given the chance to be ready. 

No doubt this Sakura was ready. It shamed him to think of it in that sense. This was what she did. It almost belittled it. 

"I'm scared, too," she said quietly, bringing him out of his thoughts. And as he looked at her, the smile on her face widened a little. "You look absolutely horrified. And I can't help but feel that I'm the one frightening you."

He shook his head at that, hands reaching down to clasp hers. "Not you," he said, squeezing her fingers. "The situation. The memories that I keep getting." He hesitated, voice breaking off gently as he looked down to see their fingers intertwined at their sides. "I remember being with her, one night. And things had started to move…very quickly. She was scared, I was scared. But we both wanted to. And that was the night we promised. We promised we'd wait until we were older, until we were ready."

Sakura was smiling at him gently, as if she approved. She lifted a hand to his face and he wasn't sure if he imagined it but this Sakura seemed so much older than his had been. Infinitely wiser. He lifted his eyes to her, studying her features intensely.

"You're not ready yet," she murmured. "Especially not when I'm here. I feel your confusion at seeing me. Looking at my face…hurts you…"

"No. No…" he said soothingly. "It isn't like that at all. No matter what Sakura you are, what world you live in, you could never hurt me. I would love you just as much." And he paused, eyes skimming her face, her red hair. "Just as you love him."

She started at his words, eyes widening. 

"I understand, what you mean," he pressed on. "About my loving Sakura. My Sakura. Because you love your Syaoran. Even though he's the way he is now, you still see him as the way he was.And you can't see him like that anymore. He doesn't exist like that anymore."

"Neither does Sakura. Your Sakura," she responded quickly, cutting him off. "Your Sakura doesn't exist anymore. There's only me now."

Syaoran stared at her, wondering how she meant that. If it angered her to hear him speak about her Syaoran. He nodded faintly, gazing at her. "You're right, of course," he said. "She doesn't exist like that anymore." And he released her, looking away and slumping onto the bed weakly. 

She looked at him, shoulders hanging in defeat. "Syaoran. I didn't mean-"

He smiled faintly, forgiveness on his face even as she spoke. "But you're right," he said, falling backward onto the bed. It felt soft under his weight, supporting his weary figure. He sighed, looking up at the canopy overhead, arms lifting to cross under his head. "I thought I'd get used to her being gone, that eventually it would stop hurting." He stared at the canopy, gaze becoming flat. "It doesn't stop hurting. And it doesn't go away."

Sakura merely gazed at him for a moment, arms wrapped around herself. After a reflective moment she seated herself beside him, the bed hardly upset by her weight. He looked over at her, not turning his head. Her profile was striking. Wonderfully soft skin and glossy auburn hair. He felt the glance turn into a stare, unashamed at being caught looking at her when she turned her head to face him.

"Do I look like her?" she asked him with a small smile, hands clasped in her lap. 

He smiled back faintly, pretending to study her. "Yeah, sort of," he joked. His eyes widened a little bit as she lay out beside him, her green eyes mischievous.

"Well, you look very much like my Syaoran. Except for this little scar right here." She lifted a hand, her finger brushing it gently. "How did you get that?"

He shook his head, turning his face away but she nudged him, wanting his reply.

"Tell me. I want to know how you got it," she pleaded, still touching it, her finger rubbing across it over and over.

With a sigh he said, "I was teaching Sakura a few moves. How to defend herself against unwanted attention." He stressed the end of the sentence, a look of protectiveness coming into his eyes. "I let my guard down after pushing her to hit me. She was so timid. She was afraid of hitting me. And the one time I softened she let me have it, right there."

Sakura laughed silently, her other hand clamping over her mouth.

Syaoran nodded wryly. "Yeah, it was funny then, too," he mocked her. "But she didn't touch me for like a month."

She stared at him, smiling behind her hand. "Not even to kiss you?" she asked quietly, finally pulling her hand back from her mouth.

He paused, blinking as he thought the moment over. "At the time," he said slowly, and he met her eyes, "we weren't together. We knew about each other's feelings, we understood them, but it was as if we agreed without ever saying anything, that we were too young to have a relationship." He smiled again, the faint twist of his lips. "Although it didn't really occur to me that if other guys started looking at her, maybe it was the right time to start dating."

She nodded, finger still playing across the scar. "Such an innocent, Syaoran," she murmured softly, her breath warm against his ear. 

He studied her, eyes narrowing the slightest bit.

**Unlike you…**

At the mere thought he felt a sudden wave of shame wash over him and he turned his head away once more, returning his gaze back to the canopy.

**I can't be with you like this…**

She shifted a bit and a moment later he felt her lips brush his scar, as gentle as a wind blowing across his skin. He swallowed, eyes closing as she murmured, "Something told me she never kissed you there. As if she were afraid of that scar, ashamed that she had caused that scar and that it was a constant reminder to her."

He didn't reply although he agreed. Never had she touched his scar because of exactly that. She had been ashamed and remorseful, no matter how many times he had told her it hadn't been her fault. Up until her death she had never allowed herself to touch it.

He wanted her to kiss him again.

She inhaled deeply, almost as if he had defeated her. "You won't…be with me tonight?" she asked him faintly, pulling her hand away from his scar to draw in on herself.

He hesitated, mind working furiously behind his closed eyelids. It would be wrong…wouldn't it? It had seemed wrong before but now that he lay beside her, now that he was so close to her, it didn't seem wrong at all. It felt exactly as it should have felt, had they decided to take that step together.

She shifted on the bed, pulling away but he reached out blindly, taking hold of her hand. His eyes came open and he looked at her at last, trying to read passed the surprise on her face. "Would it mean something to you? The way it would mean to me?" he asked her quietly.

Because it would be the step he had never taken with his own Sakura. 

She gazed at him, squeezing his fingers tightly, so much that it felt as if she were cutting off his circulation. "Nothing would ever mean more to me, Syaoran," she whispered. And she watched him, unafraid, as he slowly rose, their eyes focused on each other.

There was no lie there, in her eyes. A part of him had wanted to find a deception there, had wanted it desperately. And the other half of him was relieved that she would want to go there with him.

"You know you'll always have me. Don't you?" he asked her, drawing closer to her. He lifted his other hand, cupping her cheek, thumb brushing her skin.

She shook her head at him, tilting into his hand. "And if this is our only night together?"

"It's not. It won't be," he said firmly. "I won't let it be-"

"But if it is?" she cut him off gently. "If tomorrow comes and we can't escape together? If I'm executed tomorrow?" She gazed at him. "I won't have always."

He stared at her, brow furrowing sadly. And he knew then, felt a small release inside. This would always be right between them. 

Because nothing they ever did could ever be wrong.

She went into his arms, pressing her cheek against his jaw and embracing him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, hand lifting to hold her head against his collar.

"One night, Syaoran," she murmured into his ear. "One night and then we'll have all of eternity."

He swallowed, breathing her scent into himself. Forget the one night. He wanted the eternity.

I tried to make changes to the way I wrote this because I got a review with an English lesson in it. =) Now THAT'S what I call criticism. I don't have the reviewer's name because I'm offline but whoever you were, thanks! I learned something new! ;) Hopefully I got everything right this time around?

Arigato!

- Cass


	9. The Penalty of Eternity

The Penalty of Eternity

The Penalty of Eternity

Sakura opened her eyes, blinking up at the canopy of her bed. It was dark outside, moonlight filtering in gently. She rested upon something soft but firm, cheek pressed into it. Inhaling deeply, she lifted her head and glanced over her shoulder toward her window, trying to decipher what time it was. No doubt it was passed midnight, well into the next day. She turned back to see what she leaned on and discovered Syaoran beside her, head turned toward her in sleep. One arm was wrapped around her waist protectively, the other resting across his stomach.

She recoiled a bit, mouth forming an o.

**Oh…**

Syaoran shifted slightly and a moment later, as if disturbed, his eyes flickered open, a frown furrowing his brow. He blinked rapidly, accustoming himself to the darkness and she met his gaze uncertainly. He blinked again, confusion crossing his face and then, as realization dawned on him, he stared at her.

Sakura swallowed faintly, a blush stealing across her skin. She was thankful he couldn't make out color in the darkness. But at the same time she wondered what exactly he **could** make out.

He lifted his hand from his stomach, his other one tightening around her waist. His fingers came into contact with her cheek, palm cupping her jaw. And very gently he leaned into her, brushing the softest kiss against her mouth. 

Sakura accepted it gratefully, winding her arms around his waist. "I didn't know how you would react," she whispered against his mouth, inhaling shakily. "I was scared you would have regretted it and I didn't want you to regret it."

Syaoran shook his head faintly, his forehead pressing against hers as he murmured, "I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is not being your first." And he sighed in defeat, holding her firmly in his embrace.

There was silence for a moment, hanging in the air around them. She felt warm in his arms, soft and fragile. Breakable. He had learned well into Sakura's last days that she had been everything but unbreakable. All along he had seen her as powerful but gentle. Unyielding to the strongest wind. Only on her deathbed had he finally accepted the truth. That she had been as mortal as he was.

"You **were** my first."

He came to an utter stop in his thoughts, eyes opening slowly to look at her from a hair's breadth away.

"What?"

She was smiling faintly in the darkness, holding him tightly. "You were my first," she repeated quietly.

He stared at her in confusion, lips parted. "But, how is that…I thought you said you were a…"

She looked like she wanted to giggle at him. "I've been here for about three months and Syaoran-sama never noticed me. Not before you came along. I've basically been here, watching his every move."

Syaoran nodded faintly, relief washing over him.

**Thank you, God…**

With an exhalation he fell flat on the bed, his hand leaving her cheek to cup his eyes. "So, the whole time, I thought you…"

"Had been with many men?" she asked, feigning suspicion good-naturedly. 

"But it's not true!" he crowed happily.

"Of course not," she slipped in easily. "I meant what I said, Syaoran," she said in a serious tone, and she laid down beside him once more, her hand reaching for his and pulling it away from his eyes. "It was just as important for me as it was for you."

He tilted his head to look at her, fingers squeezing hers. She met his gaze, eyes shimmering in the reflection of moonlight, and she smiled at him, drawing closer.

**We were meant to be,** he realized. **From the beginning, we were meant to be. It was written in the stars, in the grains of sand. I was meant to be with you, to wake up beside you every morning and fall asleep beside you every night. To hear you laugh and hold you when you cried. To grow old with you. To live forever young with you. To love you through every incarnation and every form you take.**

**And I was meant to die beside you. Because I wouldn't have had it any other way. I can't deal with it, any other way.**

"Syaoran," she said in alarm, eyes widening, "you look like you want to cry."

He blinked, broken from his thoughts once more. She looked frightened and worried, grasping him tightly at his side and he instantly composed himself, saying in a gruff voice, "You're seeing things."

"I am not!" she argued, sitting up a bit. "You haven't changed a bit! Never wanting to admit anything! Especially not your feelings. Which is why it probably took you forever to be with my other self."

"Not forever," he said firmly. "Just…a while…"

"Just a while," she echoed, lying back down. "We'll finish this argument later. When we're safe in your world and I have all the time I'll need to fish the truth out of you."

"You'll be fishing for a while…"

Sakura smiled faintly against his chest, clasping his hand once more. It was all right with her. Even if she spent the remainder of her days fishing, she would be with him. She didn't mind it one bit.

Just so long as she was with him.

A small shiver ran through her, making her stiffen a bit. Perhaps a breeze had filtered into the room. Goosebumps rose on her skin, the hairs on the back of her neck standing slowly. Where was her blanket? 

"You're not the type to hog the blankets, are you?" she asked, reaching around him for the bed sheets. 

"No, but I recall you being the type," he retorted.

"Maybe in your world." She rose away from him, stretching slightly. "I'll be right back."

Syaoran turned his head to watch her as she stood, arms wrapping around herself. She was nude and he realized he wasn't ashamed to be looking at her. She was lovely, all curves and soft skin. He smiled to himself as she wandered into the side room, shutting the door behind herself. He wanted to stay in that bed forever. The way he was now, with her at his side. It would be an eternal heaven.

But the feeling drifted away as he remembered that he had to start getting back to Eriol. No doubt the boy was worried, wondering what had happened. He really couldn't blame him. Yue-san could scare anybody.

With a sigh he also rose, reaching up behind himself to touch the skin of his back. Just about fully healed. He hadn't felt much pain from it throughout the night, which he was grateful for. He hadn't wanted anything to hinder the experience. 

He reached out beside the bed and pulled on his pants, rising gingerly. The room was a bit cold, now that he thought about it. A gentle cool breeze was drifting around, making him shiver. Once Sakura came out he would have her dress and pack so that they could start making their escape. He didn't want to have to stay here any longer than necessary.

The side door opened and Sakura came out silently, bare feet padding across the floor. He wound around the bed and she looked at him, eyeing his clothes. 

"Leaving without me?" she asked faintly, studying him.

"Leaving **with** you," he corrected, reaching out a hand toward her. As she took it he pulled her close, bowing his head. "We should start trying to leave now. They're probably still looking for me and they know where to find you. We should start getting out of here."

Sakura nodded in agreement, head bowed beside his. "I have to say goodbye to otou-san," she said quietly. 

Syaoran hesitated at her words, lips parting. 

"I'm going to miss him," she whispered. "Because he won't want to come. He'll want to stay here for the Cards. To get them away from Syaoran."

Syaoran nodded slowly. "Not that it would ever replace your father…" he murmured, "but your father, in my world, is an ordinary person. And he needs a daughter again. Maybe you can come to see him as a father as well…"

Sakura didn't answer for a moment, breathing faintly. And then she said in a soft voice, "Perhaps…"

Syaoran gazed at her, eyes skimming her soft features, her wide green eyes, and he smiled faintly, lifting his hand to her face. She tilted her head upward as he brushed his fingers across her skin, thumb caressing her lips. And he wet his lips, wanting to kiss her once more, to hold her once more in a tight embrace that nothing would ever break. 

Instead he released her achingly, motioning for her to dress herself. She smiled at him wordlessly, drifting away from him before turning to float toward the bed.

Syaoran leaned against the bedpost wearily, feeling strangely heavy. At last, he had gotten what he had come for. He could go home now, back to a normal life with his one and only love. Nothing would stop them so long as-

The door suddenly burst open, flung open and crashing into the wall.

-they made it out alive.

Syaoran whirled, Sakura straightening automatically. And she backed away, lips parting as guards in uniform swarmed in, immediately apprehending Syaoran. He fought them instantly, struggling as two took hold of him.

"Syaoran!"

His double sauntered in, a small smile on his face. His cold brown eyes came to rest on him first, head tilting a bit in satisfaction. And then his gaze caught on Sakura behind the group holding his double and the smile merely melted away, features hardening.

Syaoran stared at him warily, ball in his throat as he waited for something to happen. Anything at all.

His double glared from Sakura to Syaoran, jaw clenched. "Why am I not surprised?" he asked faintly, eyes narrowing. With a small gesture he ordered, "Take him to the cell."

The guards yanked on Syaoran, dragging him forth. 

"Sakura!"

"Syaoran!" she cried, taking a step to follow thoughtlessly.

His double got in the way, one hand wrapping painfully around her arm and pulling her against him. She stumbled, grimacing as he glared at her furiously. 

"You're coming with me," he said quietly. "You and I have much to discuss."

Sakura stared at him with wide eyes. "No," she whispered. "We have nothing to discuss-" And she cried out as he flung her into a guard, body staggering.

"Take her."

Syaoran surveyed the situation with one glance, eyes flickering from the guards holding him to the ones positioned outside the door. Too many for him to even think about risking anything. He would get them both killed if he acted. That and his double had more strength in his finger than he had in his entire body.

"My clothes-" Sakura uttered as the guard began to pull her toward the door.

His double practically snorted as her words. "What for? You're nothing but a whore anyway." And he cast a look in Syaoran's direction, expression pinched.

"Don't do this-" Syaoran said softly, struggling to free himself. "Don't take this out on her. It was me, all me. Take me but for God's sake-"

"How generous," his double cut him off. "But I for one think that maybe being humiliated in front of everyone in my home will remind her of her place. Remind her that she is property, nothing more, nothing less." He glanced at her quickly, expression bored. "**My** property, to make matters clear to everyone."

Sakura grimaced, eyes flying from him to his captive double. And there was fear there. Syaoran gazed at her, rooted to his spot. He didn't know what to do, didn't know how to stop this.

**Sakura…**

She looked at him once more, expression softening as she was pulled. Almost as if to say it was ok. He shook his head at her wordlessly, flinging himself forward as she was dragged toward the door. He was restrained instantly and a moment later a fist caught him across his cheekbone, driving him to his knees.

"Syaoran! Yamero!" Sakura cried and she was taken out, disappearing from sight. 

He lifted his head, biting down on the inside of his cheek. Pain was burning along his face, his vision slightly blurred with tears. The hands holding him hoisted him back up to his feet and he looked toward his double.

His double merely studied him, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. He didn't know what he read there. There wasn't anger so much as confusion. As if his double was questioning something. Perhaps questioning himself. Syaoran glared at him, his own eyes becoming slits.

"I thought I was weak here, compared to you," he said softly, but firmly. "I thought I was no match for you. But I see a weakness in your eyes."

His double clenched his jaw, straightening the slightest bit.

"I see your weakness," Syaoran said with a small, cold smile curling his lips. "And your weakness lies with her. Just as mine does."

His double arched an eyebrow, hands clasping behind his back. "I have no weakness, my dear twin. I have no weakness, nor do I have a rival. After today I will be rid of both you and her and nothing will ever get in my way again." He turned away, starting to move toward the door Sakura had been escorted out through.

"Do you think it will be that easy?" Syaoran countered, throwing himself forward to get hold of his attention once more. "Do you think, after everything you've been through with her, are you seriously telling yourself that you would forget her even in death?"

"In death I will be free of her," he corrected him icily, glaring over his slim shoulder at his restrained double. 

Syaoran smiled just as eerily, eyes narrowing. "You'll never be free of her. She's inside you, just as she is inside me. Putting her to death will only make you want her more-"

"No." His double turned on him, jaw clenched. "Putting her to death will make me the happiest man on earth. Because I will have the privilege of seeing the agony upon your face," he spat. "I will make her mine. I will have the power in knowing I put to death a woman that you loved." He shook his head, a similar stony smile lifting his lips. "You should never have gotten in my way-"

"She'll never be yours," Syaoran whispered, sure of himself above all else. "She'll never be yours because she was mine first."

The expression on his double's face was enough to make him almost smug. And he tilted his head, realization dawning on him. 

"You hate that…" he said in wonder, staring at his double intently. "You hate the fact that she was mine first. That I tasted her flesh before you. That I made her mine-"

"She cast the spell on you as well, I see," was how his double replied, sounding nonchalant. "Unlike you, I was able to protect myself from that. But I see that you fell, and you fell hard..."

Syaoran let an incredulous smile part his lips as his double broke off. His double's eyes came to rest on him and all he could do was restrain his laughter. "Are you listening to yourself? By God, just listen to yourself! It's not a spell! They're called feelings. Emotions. Love. It's called being in love and not wanting to be in love," he shook his head at him, disgust clouding his eyes. "If you knew half the things I know now…"

His double merely arched an eyebrow as he stopped. "I don't need to know half the things you think you know. I just need the both of you out of my hair. Once and for all." 

And with that he walked out, long robes flowing around his tall frame.

Syaoran stared after him, jaw clenching.

**We'll see about that…**


	10. The Spoken Past

The Spoken Past

The Spoken Past

Sakura bit down on her lip, utter humiliation sweeping through her. To be dragged throughout the hallways of his home, for every single guard to poke and touch her anyway they liked. She was thankful the guards escorting her weren't allowed to stop anywhere except for the lower cells. 

The torches flickered as she went and she looked at a few of them before dropping her head once more. This was what it had come down to. Years and years of searching and planning, only to die at his hands. 

The guards paused before a large wooden door which was opened for her. She felt weak, looking upon the last room she would see before she died. Cold, stone walls. A single tiny window at the back, close to the ceiling which only let in the moonlight through metal rods. And one flickering torch. That was all.

She cried out as she was shoved in carelessly, and she stumbled to her knees, hearing the door as it scraped shut and was locked behind her. She didn't bother to look back. She knew she would see the closed door. What did she really need to see that for?

Instead she bowed her head, arms lifting to wrap around herself in a futile embrace. She was cold and yet she felt the strange need to scrape together whatever dignity she had left. Cover herself from any more prying eyes. But at the same time she had already hit rock bottom. Why should she really care anymore? 

Something shifted in front of her, close to the wall and she looked up in time to feel a strange gust of wind. The stone wall moved strangely, wavering like a disturbed puddle of water. And from it emerged Syaoran, a sword in his hand, a black card in his grip. As he came forth the wall seemed to harden once more, becoming a flat surface undisturbed.

Sakura stared at him, red hair hanging around her face, arms wrapped around her nude frame.

"What do you want?" she asked him faintly.

He merely stared at her for a moment, the black card in his hand floating out of his grasp and vanishing in a blink of black light. He had a green garment strung over his shoulder carelessly, his sword hanging now effortlessly.

Sakura bowed her head again, sighing.

After a small pause he came toward her, stopping before her. And he held out the garment to her wordlessly.

Sakura raised her eyes to it and then followed his arm toward his body and finally his face, lips parting. There was nothing friendly in his expression, not in the least, with his jaw clenched and his brown eyes narrowed. But she silently took the cloth from him, hugging it to her chest.

He turned away from her, giving her his back, flexing his wrist and swinging the sword mutely as he wandered a few steps.

Sakura blinked at the gesture, eyes lowering to the garment. It was a robe, a soft, green robe.

A familiar green robe.

She stared blindly at the robe, a sudden flow of memories striking her almost painfully. Did it…did it still…

She lifted the material to her nose and mouth and inhaled deeply. And tears rose in her eyes as she was assaulted by his familiar scent, the smell itself an agonizingly sweet memory. She closed her eyes, the tears slipping down her cheeks into the cloth as she exhaled weakly.

**Sakura…**

Syaoran.

**Sakura! Iie!**

Syaoran!

She had loved him. She had loved him so much, more that day than ever before and the colors of the magic had been astounding. Blindingly beautiful. How could such holy light have been so destructive?

The look on his face, that day. When she had thrown herself in the way, to stop their battle. And she had accomplished what she had wanted. Their fight had stopped instantly and all she had seen was the fizzle and smoke of dissolving power, the defeat in his eyes as tears had risen at the devastating conclusion. He had fallen to his knees and she had wanted to comfort him so much then. Comfort him and hold his weeping figure in her arms and tell him it would all work out. Because no matter what…

She would always love him.

But she had lain in her father's embrace, weak, her body almost destroyed by their combined anger.

Her eyes came open slowly, the robe in her hands wet from her tears and she realized he stared at her now, closed expression letting in the slightest bit of bewilderment. 

She lifted it a bit to him. "You don't wear this anymore," she murmured.

He hesitated before speaking, frowning faintly. "I was weak when I wore that," he replied just as softly. "I'm not weak anymore."

Sakura nodded wordlessly and finally put it on, allowing the smooth material to fall and cling to her like a comforting blanket.

He watched her as she did so, thinking faintly that it became her. His clothes on her, it was almost familiar…

A moment later he shook himself, anger rising inside. He would not give in so easily. He had not spent years mastering his magic to fall prey at the whim of a girl. He was not going to have it.

"You are weak inside," she said faintly, hands dropping into her lap.

He came to a sudden stop, hair lifting off the back of his neck at her words. In disbelief he tilted his head at her, hoping for a small moment that he had heard wrong and that she hadn't just insulted him.

She didn't say anything.

"What did you just say?" he asked in a whisper.

Her lips tightened momentarily and he saw her swallow, her lily-white throat convulsing. "You were never so weak," she said softly, eyes on the stone floor. "You were never so weak as you are now. You were stronger, stronger when you-"

She suddenly cried out as he lunged at her, one hand wrapping around her neck. The sword clattered to the floor beside him as he let it go, intent on harming her. Instinctively she shut her eyes, hands lifting to his grip on her throat and a grimace crossed her face as he hoisted her to her feet with one hand, flinging her against the cold stones of the wall. She hit hard, knees buckling, but he was still there, supporting her with his hand around her neck. Her breath came out in a whoosh, wind knocked from her and she managed to squeeze her eyes open to look into furious brown eyes.

"If you want to die just say the word," he hissed in his rage, jaw clenched. "Don't waste your time and, most of all, don't waste **mine**."

She remained wordless, lips parted as she struggled to take one clear soothing breath. Instead she wheezed, wincing weakly.

He stared at her, eyes studying her closely. She was pale, trembling in his grip. "Where are your insults now? How powerful do you think you are now, with your life…" his fingers loosened the slightest bit, settling, "in my hands?"

She gazed right back, inhaling shakily.

His anger seemed to fade, a cruel smile turning up the corners of his lips suddenly. His eyes lowered to her neck and he unfolded a finger, brushing it across the bruised skin. She stiffened the tiniest bit, fearfully.

"I'm almost jealous," he said in a conversational tone. "Jealous that you would choose a shadow over the real thing. He isn't as powerful as I am. Nowhere near." He lifted his gaze to her face, eyes narrowing seductively. "Had I known you wanted it so much I would not have denied you."

She seemed to study him for a moment, eyes wide. But seeing something upon his face she achingly looked away, head leaning back to rest against the cold wall at her spine. "You already denied me," she whispered, inhaling hoarsely. "And you never denied me anything before."

He frowned at her, finger hovering over her throat. She continued to stare at the ceiling, a tear falling free. He caught it upon a fingertip, lifting his other hand to cup her face almost tenderly. "You act as if you've known me for so long," he murmured absentmindedly. He dipped into her, lips brushing a gentle kiss against her jaw, body moving in close to hers.

She closed her eyes, feeling she would fall if he didn't support her.

"Of course," he continued in a sensuous tone, "I wouldn't be surprised if you confused me, even now, with my double," he said with a shrug. "There is a damned striking resemblance-"

She turned her face aside, away from his caress, eyes squeezing shut. 

His anger flared once more but he restrained it, instead taking hold of her face and forcing her back to face him. Her eyes came open in panic, wide circles. He inhaled, the corner of his mouth twisting impatiently. But wordlessly he cupped the sides of her face, content with merely gazing at her. She let him, swallowing fearfully, eyes focusing on his collar and staying there. 

He ran his fingers over her bangs, pushing them away from her forehead, body pressing against hers. And she felt all of him, his robe seemingly as thin as hers. He jammed a knee in between hers, supporting himself fully against her but he was still caught by her hair, her skin, amber brown eyes almost in awe. 

She lifted her eyes to his chin, his mouth, parted lips through which she saw the glint of teeth. His smooth skin covering a boyish but gaunt face. Beautiful brown eyes and the smooth locks of auburn hair. 

And in defeat she leaned forward into him, her forehead pressing against his lips. 

He stiffened against her, hands hovering around her head, and it was no longer her supporting him but vice versa. She smelled sweet, of flowers and herbs. Fairy-like hair brushing his chin and cheek. Her breathing lifting her chest against his. He stared at the wall over her red hair, unsure yet again.

But he wanted her. Of that he was sure. He wanted to hold her more than that first day. Caress her until she screamed his name, until she bucked in his arms and gave into him, body and soul. 

Now. He wanted her now.

His hands dropped down slowly, cupping the sides of her hips achingly. It didn't seem to phase her for she lay against him just as weakly. He hesitated, realizing that his heart was beating frantically, pounding so powerfully it threatened to rip from his chest. And he didn't understand the feeling, didn't understand why this was so much more difficult than any other woman he had had. 

His fingers took hold of the robe against her hips and he began to drag it up, ever so slowly, as if wanting to be inconspicuous. 

She allowed him, tears stinging her eyes. She didn't want to fight anymore. Didn't want him to hate her. She wanted him to remember her, remember the days they had spent together so long ago, the days they had spent in love with each other. 

He gathered the robe to her waist, hands pushing their way inside to cup her hips again, fingers kneading her flesh. And he pulled her forward, dragging her up onto his leg, his knee pressing into the stone wall between her thighs.

She went with a soft exhalation, hands lifting at last to take hold of his arms, fingers closing around his triceps. She felt him pressed up against her, supported from beneath by him. She felt, deep inside, that although he despised her, he would not let her fall. 

His mouth pulled away from her forehead, jaw moving to allow her to rest her head against his collar. And it felt right. Perfect. More so than anything he had ever had. As if she had been made to fit against him like this, always. With her breath gentle against his collarbone, the scent of her, stinging his nose. He bowed his head, lips pressing gently to her neck and then further down, toward her bare shoulder for the collar of the robe was wide on her.

She sighed once more, the purr reverberating inside his own skin as if it had been issued from him. No matter what form, what personality, he would always feel right against her, beside her.

And most assuredly inside her.

She felt his hands trail up her back, pulling her into him in need. Yes, she needed him too, she understood. She would always need him. If she could only make him realize just how much…

"I thought you would remember…" she whispered sadly, eyes drifting closed as he settled for a moment, listening to her speak. "When you saw me, I thought you would…"

She felt him swallow. "What?" he asked hoarsely.

And she understood then that no matter how much he looked like him, and how many memories he awoke within her, he wasn't her Syaoran anymore. Her Syaoran had long since died, died the same day she had. This was someone else, a monster in the skin of her soulmate. It was all he could ever be to her. Because the real Syaoran now awaited execution at the hands of the beast in her embrace.

She lifted her head then, still caught in his arms. "When is my execution?" she asked, frame limp.

He was stiff against her suddenly, and he pulled away the slightest bit, staring almost in disbelief. She didn't meet his eyes, head bowed and hiding under her red hair.

He seemed to realize only then what kind of position he was in, how he held her. He inhaled, almost gasping, and backed away instantly, releasing her.

Sakura nearly fell but his hand shot back out, clamping onto her neck once more and thrusting her back against the wall. She crashed back against it with a cry, wincing.

"You damn whore…" he uttered, panic-stricken. He inhaled again, trembling and as his eyes burned into her, he seemed to grow angry once more. "Are you so eager to meet death now that you've accomplished your task?" He asked, trying to compose himself yet again.

She shook her head painfully, scared to move at all other than that. "And what was my task, Syaoran-sama?" she asked quietly, hating the name as it was applied to his monstrous face. "Perhaps you can tell me, because I came here as a concubine. Nothing more-"

"And how well you do your job," he said instantly. "But I feel the need to remind you that you are **my** concubine. No one else's."

She lowered her eyes to him, facing him at last. "What I did, I did out of love. I loved him. I love him still," and she straightened, jaw clenching. "I love **you**."

He glared at her, fingers tightening enough to cut her air passage. "Love? Please, spare me," he spat. "What do you know about love? Especially about loving me-"

"What do **you** know?" she cried back at him. "You can't remember two years of your life, the one time you ever **experienced** love! You don't **remember**!" And she clamped down upon shouting it, the color draining from her face.

**Oh, no…**

He merely stared at her for a moment and she couldn't tell what he radiated. No doubt anger, at her outburst. But to what extent? She swallowed painfully under his grip, struggling to force down the lump in her throat.

"We'll do this now," he said finally. And he released her throat to take hold of her hair, tangling his fingers in her locks and yanking her forward.

She went with a grimace, staggering as he pulled her behind him. He dragged her to the door and struck the door angrily with the side of his fist, pounding.

The door was opened by a pale guard, lips parted. "Syaoran-sama. I didn't know-"

Syaoran shoved him aside wordlessly and waltzed out, dragging her by the hair into the corridor and down the length of the hallway, torches lighting their path.

"I think I'll execute you right before I execute my double," he said almost cheerfully. "I'll have the pleasure of seeing him mourn-"

Sakura suddenly dug her feet in, bringing him to a stop, her hands lifting to pry at his fingers. "No! Him first," she cried, wincing under his grip.

He stared at her, a stunned yet happy smile working its way onto his face. "Him, first? What a miserable whore you are. And you say you love me?" he shook his head, yanking her into him roughly. "I'm sure you told him the same thing. I'm sure you held him in the night and whispered sweet promises you didn't intend to keep-"

Sakura bit down on the tears rising in her eyes.

"And look at you now. How easily you would sacrifice him for another moment in this ill-fated life you lead. I'm almost tempted to let you live, just to see how low you would stoop," he hissed against her cheek, breath stinging her skin.

Sakura tried to turn her face away from him, trembling.

**You don't understand. You don't know what I know. You don't know that if he sees me die again, he'll go mad. He'll die from the sorrow. But if he goes first, I can share his burden. I will understand his pain, even if it's only for a moment. And in our next life we'll start all over. From a beginning we denied ourselves.**

"Don't you have anything to say, my beautiful," he caressed her cheek with his other hand, whispering intimately into her ear, "**beautiful** whore?"

Sakura winced against his touch, eyes opening to look at him. "Him first," she repeated, and she clamped her mouth shut, jaw tight.

He gazed at her almost tenderly, his hand cupping her face. His eyes dropped to her mouth as he ran his thumb over the curves of her lips.

"So be it," he shrugged after a moment of silence, and he released her face, dragging her along once more.

Syaoran looked about quickly, scanning the room. He stood in a brightly lit room, hands tied behind his back. Two guards had escorted him in and along the far wall waited two more guards and a large man in a black robe, an equally black hood pulled over to conceal his identity. A wicked looking axe rested in one hand before him.

**I'm about to be executed…**

A small creature suddenly dove forward into him, a golden yellow creature resembling a plush toy, floating with the help of two wonderfully small wings.

"They were right. You are like him in every way," the creature murmured in a childishly feminine voice.

"Keroberos," Syaoran uttered in disbelief.

The creature nodded his abnormally large head. "Hai. I've spoken to Yue already. He told me all about you."

Syaoran smiled faintly at his words. "Unlike your master he seemed to believe my words," he said quietly.

Keroberos didn't reply, body hovering before him.

Syaoran found himself nodding his head in understanding. "I'm going to die, aren't I Kero?" he murmured in defeat.

The creature floated back a bit. "You have to. You threaten the very reign of Syaoran-sama," he said softly and he hesitated, almost saddened. "He's much too powerful. I can feel your strength level," he shook his head. "He'll destroy you."

"I don't want his power," Syaoran argued. "I don't want any of it. I just want Sakura. I only **came** here for Sakura-"

"Why?" the Guardian asked instantly. "If what you say is true you should have your own copy of Sakura. Why come here?"

Syaoran settled weakly, giving his wrists a helpless tug. "Because she died in my world. She wasn't strong enough to support the cards, nor the two Guardians-"

"The Cards?" Keroberos echoed. "The Guardians? Sakura was…" he paused again as if uncertain, "the Card Mistress?"

Syaoran nodded wordlessly.

The golden guardian turned away slowly, floating off a bit. "Sakura was strong enough to be Card Mistress," he mused quietly. "It never occurred to me she could play such a part. I sensed her magic but it was below Fujitaka's level…"

"What happened that day?" Syaoran demanded, taking a step toward Keroberos. The plush creature whirled to face him, encountering him standing closely, face dark. "What happened **since** that day? Why is he like this?"

The door to the front of the room opened and in came Yue, floating. There was a slight frown on his beautiful face, long white hair pooling around his shoulders and down his back. He came forth, pausing beside Keroberos and he leaned into him. His voice, however, remained neutral.

"Have you seen Hikaru?" he asked the Guardian of the Cards. "He wants to see her but I can't seem to find her."

Syaoran looked from the Judge to the Guardian.

"No, I haven't seen her," Kero growled coldly. "Are you saying that, for once, she's not attached to his hip?"

Yue glanced at Syaoran.

Syaoran was, in turn, looking from one to the other, eyebrows hiked up to his hairline. At Yue's pause he shook his head at them in disbelief. "Look at the two of you. You don't even **like** him. Why are you serving him?"

Yue practically rolled his gray eyes as Keroberos whirled to face him.

"Who would you have us serve?" the creature asked in sudden anger. "You? Did I **mention** your power level to you?"

Syaoran let the insult pass, calming himself. "I just figured I'd bring up Kinomoto-san, seeing as how you both seemed to have had a pretty good thing with him. Am I right?" he glared at Yue. "How did it work for you, Yue? Always being around Touya-kun, no longer worrying about what form to take. It would have been easy to give up Yukito." He came to a dead stop, eyes narrowing. "Where is Touya-kun anyway?"

Yue clenched his jaw, hands fisted at his sides. 

Keroberos remained silent, tail twitching tensely.

"Where is Touya?" Syaoran asked again, sounding almost smug.

"He's dead," Yue answered in a faint hiss. His eyebrows came down over his eyes, cold fury gleaming in the gray depths. "Touya died right after your double became our Master."

Syaoran broke off in the middle of his arrogance, face paling. 

**Touya…died?**

"How?" Syaoran asked faintly, lips parted apologetically. "How did he…die?"

Yue turned away from him and slowly walked off, wings hanging almost sorrowfully. He stopped at the door and then waited there, head bowed, no doubt waiting for his Master to arrive.

Keroberos floated closer to Syaoran. "Not long after Syaoran became our new Master his memories were wiped from him. This much you know, I trust?"

Syaoran nodded.

Keroberos nodded with him. "When he came from the battle with…Clow, he was a different person. We knew…**everyone **knew, that the way he was…" the creature shook his large head. "He wouldn't serve well as Master of the Cards."

Syaoran studied him, fixing his eyes on the creature and only on the creature. "This was the day Sakura…died?"

Keroberos nodded. "He brought us here, along with the Cards, and for days he wouldn't even look at us. He used to say that our faces reminded him too much of Sakura, and all the times he had spent with her, fighting by her side. They used to train together, he and Sakura. Clow wanted to pass the Cards to her but he needed her to prove her strength first."

Syaoran could almost see a picture of the two of them together. The same picture he saw when he thought of himself and Sakura.

"And one day, his mother decided that she wouldn't bear it. She needed him to take control because her time would be over soon and she needed him to be the Clan Leader," Keroberos explained faintly. "So she wiped him of his memories. All the ones containing Sakura, any piece of her. And since that day, he has been the Clan Leader. This is what he became."

Syaoran didn't want to fill the quiet space that followed Keroberos' explanation. He bowed his head, giving his wrists one more futile tug and his eyes caught on Yue, the angel standing silently beside the door.

"And Touya?" he asked then.

Keroberos also looked toward Yue. "Touya-kun…was killed by Yue," he said quietly.

Syaoran snapped his head to face the Guardian, eyes widening. "Nani?"

The winged creature merely stared at the Judge for a moment. "After Syaoran-sama was wiped of his memories he decided he needed to take care of Clow, once and for all. He didn't want Clow coming to regain the Cards for he had been led to believe that in the final battle he had won over him. In truth the Cards were simply handed over. Clow relinquished his control over them, instead choosing his daughter. And so Syaoran-sama decided to strike at Clow where he knew it would hurt most."

"Touya," Syaoran nodded. "Because by this time Sakura had never existed. Clow only had Touya and what better way to bring Clow to him than to kill his son."

Keroberos exhaled painfully. "Yue…despises our Master," he said softly. He turned his head to gaze at Syaoran. "We knew that day…we **understood**. We understood that the boy Sakura knew…" the creature shook his head. "He was gone. For good. He wouldn't be coming back for us. That was the day Syaoran ordered Yue to kill Touya. And having been made only to serve, Yue did as he was told."

Syaoran swallowed wordlessly, eyes shifting toward Yue once more.

"He told me, once. Only once," Keroberos said faintly, hovering upon what seemed to be a thread of air, "the day he was sent, he found Touya waiting for him. Touya always did have this…sixth sense…"

Syaoran didn't want to hear anymore. He knew how it ended and he didn't want to hear it.

**No more. No more, no more, no more…**

"And Touya only smiled at him. Yue told me he thought it was because he believed Yue had come back for him. To be with him. But Touya knew the truth that day. And when Yue killed him he didn't blame Yue," Keroberos bowed his head sadly. "He never blamed Yue."

Syaoran turned away, now struggling with his bonds angrily. "Damn this…" he swore, tugging painfully. He shook his head, not wanting it to be futile, wanting at least a chance to fix something. "What about my mother? Didn't she ever say anything about this?"

Kero shrugged absentmindedly. "She died not long after Syaoran had established himself as Master. But she did die a miserable death. She cursed herself and her son on her deathbed. But she blamed herself mostly for what she had done-"

"So now you're just going to let this happen?" Syaoran demanded furiously. "You know you're wrong, Keroberos. You know you can fix this. Yue said it himself, my double is weakening. He may be strong now but he won't hold off in a battle with Clow," and he eyed the small Guardian. "And you know just as well as I do that Clow is coming for him. To finish this, once and for all-"

"Which is why we're letting this happen," Keroberos cut him off. "We know he's coming for us. We've been waiting for him since the day we were taken away. You mean nothing, do you understand that? You are a fugitive from some other world, and you should never have stepped through that doorway."

Syaoran stared at him in disbelief. 

Keroberos turned away from that accusing gaze, moving to float away.

"Did she ever mean anything to you?" Syaoran asked, stopping him in the middle of his retreat. And when the small Guardian turned to face him he asked again, "Did she? Anything at all?"

"Sakura?" Keroberos questioned quietly.

Syaoran nodded wordlessly.

Keroberos hung his head, turning his back on Syaoran for a moment. "I loved her…with all my heart," he whispered achingly. "I loved her as if she were my own daughter. My only friend."

"Then help me," Syaoran pleaded. "Help me get her out of here, back to my world where she will be reunited with all her friends. Make her happy again," he begged.

Keroberos shook his head. "If I help you, I forfeit myself. I forfeit Yue, and any chance we have to be reunited with Clow ourselves. I won't do that to Yue. He doesn't deserve that-"

"Neither does Sakura," Syaoran stressed. "She lost once. Don't do this to her again. You can tell him that I escaped, that you have no idea where I am. All you have to do is lie. Turn your back now and let me go. Let me take her away from here-"

At that moment his double entered the room, dragging Sakura by her hair. Syaoran straightened, eyes instantly fixing on the red-haired girl as his double shoved her roughly to the floor. Yue stayed close to his Master's side, arms crossed over his slim chest, gray eyes blank of any emotion. 

"What is her crime?" Keroberos asked, floating forth and hovering above Sakura as she sat up with a grimace. Her green eyes caught on the creature and pure happiness crossed her face, lips parting to say something.

"I need to inform you on any crime she has committed?" his double smirked. "Since when did this come about?"

Keroberos recoiled the slightest bit, Yue remaining shut and impassive behind him.

"Where have you been anyway, Keroberos?" his double questioned sourly. "You come and go whenever you wish and quite frankly, I disapprove. It's been God knows how many weeks since I've last seen you-"

"Gomen nasai," Keroberos cut him off. "I was not aware I had been…missed," he said slowly, and he turned a bit in Syaoran's direction.

His double looked toward him and threw him a weary glare. "Whatever the case…" he murmured and he looked toward Yue. "Hikaru?"

Yue arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "I have not been able to find her-"

"That's all right," came a new voice, soft but firm. Everyone whirled to face the door, a smile breaking across Sakura's face.

Kinomoto Fujitaka stood at the doorway, an unconscious Hikaru bent over his arm, a long black staff in his other hand. 

"I've got her right here," he said quietly.


	11. Truth and Twilight

Truth and Twilight

Truth and Twilight

"Otou-san!" Sakura cried happily, sitting up onto her knees and looking toward her father. Syaoran glanced around quickly, surveying the situation. With Clow here it would be a lot easier to escape. Take down the guards, fry the executioner with a quick spell. 

And try to hold off Yue and Keroberos while his double took on Clow.

Or maybe not as easily as it looked…

"I came for my daughter," Clow said simply, Hikaru hanging on his arm. He looked toward his double, face cold.

"Your daughter…" his double questioned faintly. And he looked down at Sakura slowly, realization only then washing over him. "Of course. Now I understand where she gets her magic from." And he moved forward a step, standing straight before Clow. Proud. "But I know the truth, Clow. You may have come for your daughter but you also come for me."

Sakura stared from her father to Syaoran, eyes widening.

"And you came for the Cards. You came to take them back," his double said softly. "But if I won them from you once I can do it again-"

"Enough," Clow said squarely. "I've listened to you spew your garbage for long enough. I will not stop with the Cards. I will have Yue and Keroberos again. And this time, my daughter will not interfere. This battle concerns only us."

Syaoran nonchalantly pulled a small slip of paper from his sleeve, holding it up behind his back and murmuring a few words. A small fire ignited from it, burning his flesh, but he tired to control it, intent on burning his way out of his confinement.

"When did this battle ever concern your daughter?" His double asked with a shrug. "Her magic failed against me, old man. She never amounted to anything more than a concubine."

Clow didn't flinch in the least.

With a small sigh though, he set Hikaru aside, allowing her to slump against the wall. When he rose to his full height once more, his gaze came to rest on Syaoran, who struggled to conceal his attempts to free himself.

"You are the one from the other world," he stated knowingly. "The one my daughter loves?"

Syaoran looked at him straight, not paying his double any attention as he whirled to face him. "I am the one who loves your daughter," he corrected.

Sakura looked at him over her shoulder, a small smile curling the edges of her lips. 

"But you are the one my daughter came back for," Clow said to his double, turning his attention back to him.

His double's expression was one of bewilderment. He looked from Clow to Sakura close beside him and then at his own double, brown eyes narrowing angrily. 

"Enough of these mind games, Clow," he hissed after a moment. And he motioned to Yue who was closest to Clow. 

The white-winged angel instantly rose into the air elegantly, turning and diving at Clow.

In one fluid movement Clow had his hand up, something in his grasp. And Yue rammed into an invisible wall, bouncing off with a cry. He recoiled, eyes studying the wall as it grew misty.

"**Shield Card…**" Yue murmured in confusion.

Clow held a Red Card in his hand and he turned it outward for Yue to see the Card's face, a solemn look upon his own.

Shield Card, indeed.

Keroberos stiffened, coming closer the slightest bit.

"I've come for you, Yue," Clow said, a gentle smile curling his mouth. "Both you and Keroberos."

"Yue!" his double shouted angrily.

The angel jumped at the rage in his Master's voice, turning to look at him over his shoulder.

"I feel magic surrounding you," Clow said, forcing all the attention back on himself. "An old magic, one that should have worn off a long time ago."

"The only thing you'll feel is my blade," Syaoran growled, pulling forth a small object. He held it up before him and white light brought forth a long, powerful blade. He brandished it before him and glared coldly.

Clow looked from him to his blade. "The blade…" he murmured in wonder. 

Syaoran pulled forth a card of his own, slapping it against the blade of his sword. "Sword Card, come forth!" he shouted and he tightened his grip on his weapon as brilliant light swirled like smoke around him. His sword gleamed for a moment, the card vanishing into its face and he lunged forth then, stabbing downward into the shield Clow had erected.

"No!" Sakura shrieked and she dove forth also, hands taking hold bunchfuls of Syaoran's cloak. 

His double loosened one hand from his sword, which was stabbing through the Shield to the hilt, and he back-fisted her easily, tossing her aside. She fell with a small cry, landing across her stomach, a grimace crossing her face.

Syaoran whirled as well, sensing the guards surrounding him start to move. He dove at one, catching him around the waist and tossing him to the floor. Hearing another one close behind him he whirled instinctively, his spinning hook kick catching the second guard in the face and flinging him sideways. 

Clow grimaced, his enemy's blade inches from his face. With his other hand he raised his staff and murmured something faintly, eyes flashing.

The tip of his staff suddenly ignited, a strange black light breaking forth in two opposite directions, streaking as beautifully as lightning. Syaoran's double ignored it, teeth glinting through his parted lips as he tried to force his blade.

The black light shimmered, expanding outward and two figures formed, one feminine looking shadow, another a silhouette of a giant feline.

Yue and Keroberos froze in their place, uncertain as to what new enemy stood before them.

Gossamer wings unwrapped from the form of the female, long ruby red hair floating about her delicate face. Her eyes came open, glinting in the light of Clow's magic, and she faced off against Yue, expression firm.

The feline was black with the same wings as the girl but he was majestic, head held high, a cold look upon his face. A blue gem shone in the black light, embedded in the skin of his forehead between his cat ears. He growled deep inside, the sound reverberating throughout the room.

Syaoran took out the last guard, looking up into the light streaming from the newcomers. "Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun," he said almost in relief. "Now the odds are even."

A moment later he heard, more than saw, something flying at him out of the corner of his eye and he automatically dodged away, head ducking. A second later a large axe stabbed into the wall behind him, where his head had just been. He whirled to face the Executioner as the large man came toward him, intent on hurting him. 

"Tell me you're kidding…"

His double let go of his sword with one hand, a long slip of paper suddenly appearing in his grip. Sakura scrambled to her feet, lunging at him once more as he whispered something under his breath. Brilliant light summoned from above streaked downward, striking the blade and forking outward. The light bounced toward the shield, penetrating the tear he made with his blade and Clow sprang backward, his face shining in the glow of the lightning.

Sakura wrapped both her arms around Syaoran's blade arm, yanking fiercely. He stumbled back a bit, anger clouding his face, his sword coming loose from the shield.

"Get…off me!" he ordered, shoving her away.

"Stop!" she cried. And facing Clow, "Otou-san! Don't do this again-"

Clow wasn't listening either, another card in his hand. "Windy!"

From the face of the card shot forth mist, billowing outward in green-tinted fumes. And from the smoke rose a woman, eerily beautiful, eyes blank but purposeful. She hesitated only for a moment before flying forth at Syaoran, arms stretched out for him.

Syaoran pulled out his own card, blade at his side. "Windy!"

From his own card came an exact copy of the same woman, rising out of smoke. At his command she also dove forth, rearing up before her counterpart.

"This is useless," Syaoran growled under his breath. And he pulled forth one more card, its face hidden from Clow. "Time!"

All around him everything and everyone froze, the strange yellow hue of stopped time washing over them. For a moment it felt as if all air was cut off from him and he wavered, hunching over and gritting his teeth. Curse this weakness with Time. He glanced behind himself to see his Guardians and Clow's Guardians frozen in place. His double as well was in the middle of pulling out a slip of paper before the Executioner. With a strained smile he faced forward again noticing vaguely that Hikaru had come to and was halfway rising to her feet.

Before him stood Clow, waiting patiently, staff glowing faintly.

Syaoran pulled up short. "You're…unaffected?" he questioned in short breath confusion.

Clow merely stared at him for a moment. And then, very slowly, he closed his eyes and shook his head at the young man, a sigh issuing from his mouth. "You don't understand your own cards. I should never have surrendered them to you."

Syaoran's eyes narrowed.

"Inside this Shield I am unaffected by your magic. **Most** of your magic will not affect me. For I am Creator of the Cards. The only danger I face from you would be your own magic, and without the Cards you are nothing."

Syaoran bristled in cold fury, amber eyes glinting in the frozen light of magic. "I'm not a threat, you're saying," he stated serenely, and he took a step sideways, arm reaching out to wind around the stiff waist of Sakura's unmoving form. "Perhaps your should rethink that…"

Clow merely stared at him. "You wouldn't hurt her again. No matter how much the Cards mean to you, no matter how much you want to win this fight, you won't hurt her. You don't have it in you."

Syaoran smiled at him, a cold calculating smile. "How little you know me, Clow. Even after all this time-" And he tossed the Card in the air, Time suddenly moving forward again.

Sakura gasped as Syaoran pulled her close, shoving her in front of himself.

"Come for me now, Clow. Tell me that I would not hurt her and let me prove you wrong. Once and for all," Syaoran ordered.

"Syaoran, no. No more-" Sakura managed to make out.

And Hikaru was suddenly streaking toward them, a wild shriek spilling out as she lunged at Sakura. In her fist was a small blade, glinting ominously.

"Sakura-" Clow called out in panic, reaching out with one hand from behind his shield.

"Hikaru, iie!" Syaoran cried, yanking Sakura back and throwing himself before Hikaru's rushing figure.

The dagger went in to the hilt, piercing him in the soft flesh beneath his collarbone. For a moment he was caught by complete surprise, lips parted in confusion. Pain assaulted him from the one spot, washing over him completely and he stumbled backward a step, looking down slowly. Hikaru's eyes widened, the insane fury falling away to reveal disbelief as he took in the sight of the blade rammed to the hilt in his chest.

"Syaoran!"

Two arms were there for him as his legs gave way and he let the two arms grasp him under his arms, felt them wind around his chest protectively and lower him to the floor. The blood ran, streaming in a crimson river, and he realized for a small moment that it was almost beautiful. And twistingly sickening as well, to see the blood run and understand that it was his.

"Syaoran-sama!" came Hikaru's cry, her hands lifting to press against her mouth.

Clow lowered his Shield, the card dropping into his waiting hand. He stared at the card and then he shifted his fingers, suddenly displaying more cards in a fan. Holding the rest in his remaining fingers he clutched two of them between his index and middle, and flung them up into the air.

"Windy. Erase."

Syaoran gasped erratically as Windy came out once more, flying forth at Clow's hushed command. She came to hover directly over them and he stared at her from Sakura's lap, anger flooding over him at his weakness. He tried to move, tried to reach for one of his own cards knowing inside that even if he pulled it out and summoned forth the Card he would not sustain it.

Sakura's hand took hold of his from behind, forcing it to stop. It was a comfort for her to hold him, he realized, something he had noticed before but hadn't wanted to accept.

Before him Hikaru fell to her knees, tears shimmering in her blue eyes.

Windy floated down toward him and he stiffened, turning his face away and closing his eyes from whatever attack she might bring but instead the woman twisted, circling above his fallen blade. She spun once, a whirlpool of air forming as she moved, and the blade jumped, slowly hovering into the air. Windy bucked, resembling a mermaid swimming through water, and the blade suddenly flew at Clow.

The magic user held up one hand and the blade froze in mid-air directly before him.

In his exact spot, another woman came into being, strongly resembling a harlequin. She seemed to phase through Clow, her figure filmy. She paused in his place, lifting a small piece of material and gently fluttering it, waving it at the sword.

Sakura frowned, arms clasping Syaoran against her. Behind her, the other Syaoran stood unhurt, the Executioner face down at his side, black clothes smoking from an extinguished fire. The Guardians hesitated as well, looking on.

Hikaru slowly turned to face Clow, her skin paling. "No, don't-" she whispered, half-sobbing, tears flowing down her cheeks as Erase worked her magic.

Smoke suddenly lifted from the blade with a hiss, trailing upward and vanishing into the air.

And his eyes opened at last, focusing off to the side, lips parting as strange images swarmed his mind almost angrily. He saw her, Sakura, as a young girl, smiling as brilliantly as the sun. His mother, her beautiful face stern yet tender as she spoke to him of his destiny and his power. He felt pain at remembering then that Clow had the Cards his mother desperately wanted but that Clow also had the girl that he had desperately needed.

Hikaru lifted her hands to her face, shoulders trembling, and her features shifted, eyes flashing from a cold blue to a deep red. Her black hair was suddenly tied up into two pigtails, long locks of silky strands falling down her back, the illusion falling away almost dreamily.

"Meilin…" Syaoran said in muted shock, standing beside the Executioner.

His weakened double stared at his cousin as well, not as surprised anymore. He inhaled painfully, expression closed off. "I know," he said quietly, glaring at her.

Meilin looked up at him slowly.

He continued to gaze at her stonily, the look on his face not softening as her eyes filled with tears once more. "You should have told me," he whispered. "You should have said something when they were putting that…**spell** on me."

Because he remembered now, coming home that fateful day with the Cards as his ill-fated trophy. 

**"I killed her…I killed her…"**

"You should have steered me right. You should have helped me stay the same way," he said.

"You were **weak**!" she screamed at him. "You came home that day and you **mourned** her! As if I had never meant anything! As if I had never been there for you! I did this **for** you-"

"You ruined me," he whispered and tears suddenly shimmered in his eyes, almost surprising even him. "I died that day-"

"You owe me!" Meilin shouted and she pointed an accusing finger at Sakura. "You were going to destroy our entire family over her! She was **insignificant**! And your mother agreed with me! She knew as well as I did that if you didn't remember her you wouldn't care for her. Her magic was strong enough to cloud you!"

"She placed the magic on your blade," Clow mused almost to himself. "Terribly clever. She knew you would never be without your blade. You carry it with you everywhere."

"We needed you," Meilin said in a pleading tone. "With your magic and the Cards at your command you would be the Clan Leader. You would rule over everyone. And you **do**! You are the Leader we waited for-"

"Did you know I'm dying?" he asked faintly.

Sakura looked down at him, his weary frame cradled in her arms, staring at his face from above blindly. 

"Nani?" Meilin asked, nearly inaudibly.

Syaoran stared at her, eyes narrowing tiredly. "I'm dying," he said again. And he sounded defeated. "I've been weakening for the passed months and now I'm dying. I can't support the Cards anymore." And his eyes flew to Clow momentarily, expression blank. "I was never meant to."

Meilin returned his gaze for a small second, eyes lifting toward Sakura. "You're lying," she said, as if in accusation.

"No, he isn't," Yue said from where he floated beside Keroberos. His piercing blue eyes came to hover over his Master. "I sense your weakness in me. You can't support me anymore. Nor the Cards."

Syaoran didn't look toward the angel and didn't flinch at the coldness in his tone, the coldness he himself had placed there. "I won't ask for your forgiveness, Yue," he said quietly after a silent moment, head bowed. "I won't ask you to pardon my deeds because I know you will never grant me that forgiveness."

Yue didn't respond.

"But I release you," he said then. "I release you from your covenant with me. You and Keroberos. I return you to your rightful Master." 

And in his hands a faint glow came to life, shimmering as gently as the morning rays of sunlight. He exhaled weakly as the glow took on the rectangular shape of the Cards, half the pile in each palm.

"Return."

The two piles vibrated steadily in each hand before shooting into the air and vanishing. And from his place at the head of the room Clow lifted one hand and accepted the light, accepted the Cards as they formed and slid into his waiting grasp.

Meilin watched them go, turning her head to stare at Clow as he accepted them, her face dark. Syaoran shifted painfully, bringing her eyes back to him and she hunched forward, embracing herself.

"Is it over then?" she questioned.

Sakura was already nodding but Syaoran shook his head. "It'll never be over, Meilin," he said softly. "Even in death I'll pay for all I've done wrong. We both will."

"It wasn't wrong-" Meilin argued.

"It was wrong," Syaoran cut her off. "It was wrong of me to take the Cards. It was wrong of my Mother to manipulate me. And it was wrong of you to allow it to happen. It was wrong of you to watch me do everything that I would never have done otherwise, and never once try to make things right."

Meilin glared at him, eyes glinting. "How quickly you blame me, Syaoran, when it is you who has done all the wrong. You began from a clean slate and you became what you are now-"

"And what am I now, Meilin? A miserable, failing creature twisted in your hands." His amber eyes flared, body weak but spirit strong. "Yes, I blame myself for many things. I blame myself for the death of Touya-"

Yue hunched a bit at the name, face turning away.

"I blame myself for wanting the Cards, for wanting to control them. And I blame myself for succumbing to all of my mother's wishes, for allowing myself to be manipulated by both you and her. But I blame you as well. I blame you for turning your eyes away when you knew what I had once been."

His cousin cocked her head at him, Asian slanted eyes narrowing into near slits. "And yet you don't blame me for giving myself to you whenever you wanted me. Whenever you wanted **her**." She smirked at Sakura, continuing smugly. "Yes, I knew all about your infatuation with her. From the beginning I recognized her but you did not. And I wanted her to tell you everything so that I could convince you she was nothing but a lie made flesh. I wanted you to believe in your false memories, believe in me-"

"How well you did your task," Syaoran murmured stonily. His eyes closed briefly, falling heavily but then he came awake again. "And how well you did yours," he said and this time he spoke to Sakura, who was embracing him from behind.

His double straightened nearly imperceptibly beside Keroberos.

Sakura sat, uncertain as to what to say.

He inhaled, leaning his head back and resting it against her breast. "I smell you, I sense you with everything I am. And it's almost like coming home again. I remember everything that I have done to this day and yet…" he hesitated, gazing up at the ceiling, "I suddenly have the urge to go to school. Just to sit behind you and smell your hair. Have you smile at me and say good morning. A part of me feels as if I'm…terribly late for something. Like I'm late for…"

"A date," Sakura murmured and she bowed her head, resting it against his temple. 

He smiled faintly and the hard lines of his face seemed to melt away. He smiled as if he saw something wonderfully beautiful and as if that beautiful thing were accepting him, even for all his wrongdoings. "Yes, perhaps that's it…"

Beside Keroberos Syaoran stared at them both, suddenly feeling deep inside as if he stood outside something that only they shared. A strange bond between them that he didn't feel, didn't understand. And it left him cold inside. So very much alone.

What did it feel like for him? Was it like a dream? Waking up from one, to see sunlight filtering in through the curtains and realizing perhaps that in his absence years had flown by. And to find out someone else had lived his life, destroyed everything he had known and everything he had believed in.

He would have died on the spot.

"You know, that day…" Sakura whispered softly, speaking only to him in her arms, "I was scared. I was scared that someone was going to die. And yet, it was all so beautiful, the light and magic, and I couldn't understand how something so beautiful could hurt so much…"

Syaoran watched his double gingerly lift a hand and clasp her hand, watched as she grasped it so tightly it seemed as if she'd break him.

"I realized then that it was like love. To want to be in love because everyone always thinks that once you're in love nothing can go wrong. Nothing can ever be wrong. But love hurts and I wanted it to be me that hurt. I never wanted you to hurt. Nor otou-san."

Yue turned away at that point, cold expression shifting a bit, turning thoughtful. He looked toward Syaoran, gray eyes straying toward Keroberos and the feline Guardian seemed to feel it as well.

"He's passing…" the small golden creature whispered to Syaoran.

Syaoran looked toward his double quickly, realized that Sakura was rocking faintly, as if rocking him to sleep in her arms.

"What's strange," his double murmured, sounding sleepy, "is that it feels as if I haven't had the sun on my skin in so long. I can't remember…**one** sunny day since that day."

Sakura shifted a bit, lips pressing against his temple. "Why is that strange? I've felt the same way…"

His double hesitated, exhaling faintly. And he said dreamily, "It's strange because…I feel the sun. Now. I feel it now and it's you. You're this…warmth. It feels as if you're penetrating every piece of me, making me feel…so warm…"

Syaoran understood him. He had felt the same, especially when his own Sakura had died and the sun had set on his heart.

"I haven't felt this warm since…since…"

"Since the day you held me after Yukito-san told me he loved someone else," Sakura murmured as if she understood only too well.

Yue bowed his head and slowly wandered away from them, wings quivering faintly.

"Yes. That's exactly it," he replied, breathing wearily. He paused, fingers caressing hers seemingly absentmindedly. "And even though it will never make up for everything I became, my end will be a beginning."

Sakura forced a gentle laugh. "Your end, Syaoran? Don't talk like that. It's not over-"

His double squeezed her hand tenderly.

"It's not over," she stated, sounding firm then. "It's not over. I won't let it be over. If I can fight for you Syaoran, then you can do the same for me. You can-"

"Do you remember," he said softly, cutting her off with a sweet tenderness, "the day we met? How much I detested the sight of you?"

Sakura hesitated. "Yes..."

"And do you remember the day I told you that I loved you?" he questioned her almost innocently.

"Yes."

His double sighed, eyes closing slowly. "Can you hold onto that? Always? Can you just think about it now? Without saying anything? Just…think about it. Close your eyes and think about it."

Sakura opened her mouth to argue.

"Please? Just for a little while. Think about it with me? Remember with me?" he asked of her, eyes still closed wearily.

Syaoran looked at Sakura, watched her as she closed her mouth, light shimmering in suddenly tear-filled eyes. 

"Ok."

And Sakura closed her eyes and leaned against him, each of them supporting the other. She continued to rock gently, the swaying almost soothing; as if he were her child and she were his adoring mother. The true mother that hadn't betrayed him. That hadn't died cursing him and herself on her deathbed.

He stared at them both for what felt like hours. Hours in which he could do nothing but watch the love of his life embrace another. Weep over another, crystal tears rolling down her pale, pale cheeks. He hated his twin then, more than before. But he couldn't make himself move to part them. Their embrace was bittersweet, a wonderfully painful ache. He felt deep inside, the ever-silent watcher, that they should have been together. Just as he had been made for his Sakura, she had been made for this Syaoran. They complimented the other, completed the whole, and their union had been written from the beginning as had his with his own Sakura. Everyone had always said that he had belonged with Sakura. It had been destined and even if she had been taken early, it was better, it truly was, to love and lose than never to have loved at all.

**Thank you…**

Syaoran's hand loosened slowly, leaving Sakura grasping it with such a tight grip he was sure it would have been painful. Had his double still been able to feel.

Meilin sat forward on her knees, reaching toward her cousin. "Syaoran?"

Sakura continued to rock, face pressed against his temple.

"Syaoran!" Meilin shrieked, red eyes filling with tears.

Clow stood silently, eyes averted in silent respect. He held the Cards in his hand, his staff gleaming faintly.

And to the side Yue and Keroberos slowly floated toward their new Master, the angel seeming to crumble against Clow as he was embraced tenderly. Keroberos perched on his cloaked shoulder, leaning against Clow wearily.

"Welcome home," Clow said softly, a wise smile turning up the corners of his mouth.

Syaoran looked from their reunion toward Sakura who sat as if nothing had transpired. And to his double, the person who had treated her so cruelly, who had tried to have them all executed. This needed to happen. This had to be his punishment for everything he had done, every sin he had committed. And yet Sakura wept for him, trembling with her sobs.

Silently he came forth, pausing before her and he looked down at her.

She lifted a pained face, tear-streaked and wounded. 

He gazed at her and then slowly held out a hand to her, lips parting. 

Sakura stared at the hand being offered as if she didn't understand. As if she didn't want to understand.

"Come with me," Syaoran whispered, feeling himself tremble.

She blinked slowly, clutching his twin tightly. And she bowed her head, turning her gaze away. "I can't anymore…" she uttered as faint as the breath blowing across his stinging heart. Her wide green eyes closed as she leaned once more against his lifeless twin.

And Syaoran felt as if it were himself lying in her arms. So cold. Just as lifeless. He hesitated, heart swelling with such unimaginable pain it felt as if she had suddenly died in his arms once more. He could almost see the sun setting into the bloody depths of the sky, the same as that fateful day only a few months before. He trembled, hand still held out.

"Please," he pleaded. "Please come with me."

Clow looked from his daughter to Syaoran, lips parting.

"No, Syaoran. I can't go anymore. I can't leave anymore…"

"Sakura-" Syaoran uttered sorrowfully.

"Iie!" Sakura cried, burying her face into his double's neck, hiding herself from his wounded expression. "I can't anymore! Just go!"

Syaoran felt his hand drop away although he was sure he hadn't commanded it to do so. It was as if nothing were responding correctly. His mind, his heart, his body. And her, worst of all. He gazed at her, feeling tears rise in his own eyes.

He saw it now, the end. He saw what his life was going to be like now because she was going to live the same thing here, in this wretched reality. And it was something he had never wanted. He had never wanted to see her mourn over anyone, especially not him. He would always know her life was mirroring his here. 

"I love you…" he said at last, mournfully. And he turned away, coming to a sudden stop before Clow as the older man stared at him, his Guardians surrounding him on all sides and blocking the way out.

"I'm leaving," Syaoran whispered. "I did what I needed to do."

Wordlessly, Clow moved out of the way, long black robes trailing as he did so.

Bowing his head Syaoran left the room silently.

Clow watched him leave, color fading from his face. His eyes shifted toward his daughter kneeling on the floor, her arms wrapped around the corpse of his rival. How small he was now, how weak. 

And how innocent, now that the evil had left him. How young he was. How promising his life had been had he only trained under him instead of challenging him.

"Sakura."

His daughter shook her head at him, burying her face further into Syaoran's collar. She clutched at him again, reaching for more of him with trembling arms.

"Sakura," he said again and he came forth a bit, letting go of Yue. "You have to go, Sakura-chan."

The girl slowed to a stop, body exhaling. Reluctantly she lifted her head, green eyes peering at him. "You don't call me that much anymore," she whispered. 

Clow took another step and paused before her, reaching down and lovingly brushing aside soft locks of auburn hair. His auburn hair but her mother's beautiful face underneath. "You know you have to go, Sakura-chan," he said gently. "You know you'll never be happy here, not without him."

"I can be happy," she argued, gazing up at her father. "You're here and Yue and Kero-chan have been returned. It'll be like it was before, like I wanted it to be again…" And she broke off, wanting him to believe her.

"It can never be like it was before," he said to her. "Touya-kun won't be coming back. Neither will Syaoran. And I know that deep inside, no matter how much you love me and everyone else here…" he shook his head, "We'll never make you as happy as you can be."

Sakura looked away, focusing on Yue, on Kero who floated beside him looking sympathetic, understanding. "I'm happy. I'm happy we're together again. That's all that matters-"

"What matters is you going after that boy that just left," Kero cut in. "There's still a chance, Sakura-chan. In that other world, who knows what things are like. But he loves everything from that world. And the one thing he needed was you. He came for you-"

"He was unchanged. Undamaged," Yue added faintly. And the cold gray eyes settled on her. "He is the way he was meant to be, the way he should have grown had this battle never happened."

Sakura turned away from them all, hiding behind her hair. "It doesn't matter. It's not meant to be." She gestured at the lifeless boy on her lap. "This is proof of that."

Meilin raised her head, face tear-streaked, strands of hair sticking to her wet skin. "You never deserved him," she spat at her, eyes alive with fury. "Everything he ever did for you, everything he felt. It was all I ever heard about, all I lived." Her expression became smug, a cruel smile twisting her lips. "It's a good thing he's dead. And it's good that the other one is gone. It just proves to me, if no one else, that you never cared anyway. You never cared for him at all." And she threw her head back and laughed, laughed so hard that the peals of laughter made her heave for a single breath.

Sakura stared at her, stared as she shrieked with her laughter, as she hiccupped and laughed even more, red eyes shimmering maniacally. And wanting to stop her, stop her by any means, Sakura scrambled across Syaoran's still form and raised her hand, slapping the girl across her cheek so hard it stung her palm.

Meilin instantly stopped, hand flying to her cheek as it welled up a burning crimson.

"You miserable, horrible…" Sakura uttered, eyes wide. She inhaled, realizing she had stopped breathing for a moment. "I loved him! I loved them both! I loved the person that Syaoran had been, the person that just walked out. I loved him so **much**!"

Meilin remained silent, eyes so flat they were almost distant.

"You don't understand!" Sakura cried at her, reaching out once more and taking hold of Meilin's shoulders, shaking her so hard she made her head roll. "You don't understand and now you'll never understand! **Never!**"

Meilin continued to stare blankly, tear streaks drying on her face.

Sakura let go of her, unwrapping fingers that had cramped from the force she had used. "You'll never understand now…"

And Meilin suddenly dove forward, shoving her out of the way.

Sakura crashed to the floor on her hip, a cry breaking from her. From above she heard a sudden confusion, voices shouting, and she was aware of Meilin's arm snaking out and then the girl sitting back again, as if she had never moved at all. Sakura scrambled away from her, eyes widening as she saw the small blade Meilin had in her hand once more. It was wet with dark blood and she looked at Syaoran's figure, eyes catching to the naked wound that had finally killed him.

Meilin inhaled deeply, shakily, and flung her hair from her face, straightening proudly. "This is for you, Sakura," she said, composing herself. "This is so that you always remember that I died because of you. That Syaoran died because of you. Because no matter how much you wanted to be happy…" she shook her head, and lifted the blade, "All you ever did was make everyone miserable."

And she drove the blade into her chest, eyes widening as blood flew, as if she had not understood what she was sacrificing until right then and there. 

"Meilin!" Sakura shrieked and she reached out, grabbing hold of the girl's shoulders as she swayed.

With blank red eyes Meilin looked at her, lips moving faintly. "I hope…with this…that you blame yourself," she whispered, a drop of stark red fluid rolling down from her mouth, "for everything that happened…I hope you blame yourself…for my death. And Syaoran's as well…"

Sakura stared at her, horror flashing across her face and she released the girl; could only stare as she fell limply to the floor, eyes focusing on something only she could see. The drop of blood dripped down her cheek now, rolling toward her jaw and into her hairline underneath her ear. Sakura swallowed, choking on the sudden bile rising in her throat, and she lifted a hand to her mouth, chest heaving.

"Sakura-" Clow said, reaching out.

With a muffled sob Sakura rose and ran from the room, green robe clothing her frame floating behind her.

Clow stared after her for a moment, turning back to stare from one corpse to another. And he also grimaced, backing away. 

"She can't stay here," Kero said in his childishly feminine voice, turning to face Clow as he floated. "Not with this."

Clow looked at him, his face pale. "I know," he murmured and he motioned toward Nakuru and Spinel Sun. "Find her. I'm going after the boy."


	12. Dawning

Dawning

            Syaoran cursed as tears fell from his eyes, the side of his fist slamming down on the ground. The portal was still closed in the alleyway and he didn't know how long it would be until Eriol opened the way again. He couldn't stay here, he couldn't see this place anymore. Never again did he want to come here, not with knowing that she was here and living the same life he was, with no hope of ever making anything better.

            He hunched over on his knees, elbows holding up his trembling frame.

            **Please just let me go home. Let me go home to my own Meilin, to Tomoyo, Eriol. That damned stuffed animal, Yue, Yukito-san. Touya even. Anyone! Let me go home…**

            A hand closed around his shoulder causing him to stiffen and whirl on his knees.

            Clow stood behind him, holding his staff comfortably. Behind him stood Yue and Keroberos, waiting patiently.

            "I just want to go home," Syaoran whispered, fist lifting to swipe away his damned tears. He straightened, rising slowly to his feet. "It's all I want. I never came here to cause anyone any trouble-"

            "I know it," Clow said simply and he took a step forward, lifting his free hand to the air before him in the alleyway. He dragged his hand sideways, as if he were running it over some kind of surface invisible to Syaoran's eyes.

            "I sense my magic," he explained faintly, murmuring almost to himself. "Only…it's not mine, is it? It feels very much like my own but…splintered, perhaps? Yes, splintered. My magic but a bit of someone else's."

            Syaoran swallowed, eyes averted. "In my world, you died. Your original form as Clow Reed. You were reborn, half of you as Sakura's father, the other half in this other person."

            Clow nodded, hand still running over the air. "And you and this other me…we're friends, are we not?" he asked and he looked at Syaoran, a small smile lifting his lips.

            Syaoran frowned faintly, still not looking at him. "As Sakura's father we are friendly. As Eriol all you do is piss me off," he said truthfully.

            Clow laughed, a real smile that was so much like Sakura's father as opposed to Clow Reed. And he did the strangest thing then, admiring the air underneath his fingers. With a tilt of his head he closed his fingers into a fist and seemed to knock, his knuckles twitching against the space around him.

            Syaoran stared at him as if he had lost his mind.

            But before him, the air suddenly whirled, a whirlpool of air circling into a midpoint that opened up. Syaoran's jaw dropped open as the space in the alleyway suddenly became Eriol's basement, candles flickering, old books and tomes decorating the walls.

            Eriol himself stood before the doorway, a small smile on his face. "You rang?" he asked Clow courteously, staff clutched in his hand.

            Clow nodded, standing eye to eye with Eriol. "Indeed I did," he said quietly. "You would be…me?" he asked. "The half of me that pisses this young man off?" and he motioned toward Syaoran.

            Eriol slid Syaoran a wry look. "I see I've already been introduced then," he smirked. He turned away for a moment and motioned toward Spinel Sun, who hopped up onto the altar with cat-like silence. "Spinel Sun, go and bring everyone down," he instructed.

            The feline nodded faintly and his tiny wings lifted him off the altar, whisking him off toward the staircase and up toward the main floor.

            Eriol turned back slowly, black robe whirling around his tall, slender frame. "And…Sakura?" he asked cautiously.

            Clow glanced at Syaoran out of the corner of his eye, hesitating momentarily. 

            "She's not coming," Syaoran answered quietly and he straightened, composing himself. "I found her and she's all right here."

            Eriol studied him, eyes narrowing the slightest bit. "I see…" he responded after a small second. "Well, it's fine. You got to see the world. Are you all right? The last time I saw you I was nearly killed by Yue's little shards."

            "I'm fine," Syaoran nodded.

            "Where is he?" came a suddenly angry voice from above and then footsteps came stampeding down the staircase, many of them. Touya appeared at the staircase, hunching down to look into the room and his eyes caught on his father's double standing in the portal. "Otou-san?"

            Clow stared at him, lips parted. And for the moment all he could do was gaze at Touya as he came down the steps and further into the room. Behind him came Yukito-san, blinking owlishly. The gray-haired boy paused on the steps, eyes flickering from Fujitaka to Eriol to Syaoran and then stopping on Yue.

            "Touya-kun," Clow whispered. A sudden smile broke across his face as he stared at his son, studying him in wonder. "How you've grown."

            Touya stared at him, a frown creasing his brow. 

            But behind Clow stood Yue, eyes wide, form seeming to tremble. Clow took a step to the side and motioned for him. "Come, Yue."

            The angel floated forth, pausing beside his Master and looking from Clow to Touya. Touya looked at him as well, glancing over his shoulder at Yukito who hadn't moved an inch. He dragged his eyes back, looking for the life of him quite confused.

            "These are the people of the other reality," Eriol said to him. "Remember, I was explaining it to you?"

            Touya nodded although it was obvious he was hardly paying him any attention. And very slowly, he lifted his hand and reached out toward Yue.

            The angel stared for all of a moment before doing the same, lifting a slender hand and holding it out to the portal.

            The surface of the portal shimmered faintly as they both touched it at the same time, rippling like a disturbed pond. But through the filmy veil that separated the existences they touched, fingers to fingers, skin to skin. Touya's lips parted, Yue staring in absolute wonder. And they stood there, separated by nothing but air and consequences. Clow stood smiling faintly, studying his son who was taller than him now, who had his mother's dark looks. But through the protective outside shone the strong young man who had been his son, so long ago. 

            Yukito came forth, standing beside but a little behind Touya, staring at Yue in amazement. 

            Yue looked at him, gray eyes softening a bit. He slowly lowered his hand, gazing at his false form. It was something he had never done and something he had never thought possible, especially since abandoning the persona of Tsukishiro Yukito upon Touya's demise. 

            You're…me," Yukito whispered.

            Yue almost smiled, hooded eyes staring at him intently. "Yes."

            Touya swallowed, hand dropping away as well. "What's going on here? Is…" he hesitated, looking at Clow, "is Sakura here?"

            Clow looked toward Syaoran again who merely shook his head. "No, she's not here. She's alive but away. I just want to come home. I've been here too long and-"

            "Syaoran!"

            He looked passed Touya as Li Meilin's shrieking form came stomping down the staircase, black pigtails flying behind her. "Syaoran! Where did you go? Are you ok?" She demanded, slender face pale as she skid to a sudden stop before the portal.

            "Meilin," Syaoran smiled faintly. "I'm fine. Everything is fine. I just got held up here but everything-"

            "And…Kinomoto?" she asked quietly, looking at Clow in wide-eyed interest but trying not to show it. She quickly averted her gaze as he frowned at her, seeming to recognize her. Syaoran looked at him as well, shrugging.

            "She's my cousin."

            Clow nodded as an indication that he knew and that he understood.

            "What do you mean Sakura is away?" Touya asked, speaking over Meilin. "She's on vacation somewhere? When is she going to be-"

            "Syaoran."

            Syaoran's ears pricked up and he slowly turned upon hearing the familiar voice. Behind him everyone from his world craned their necks to get a better look, as everyone on the other side turned with him toward the mouth of the alleyway.

            The green robe lifted around Sakura's long legs as she slowly came down the alleyway, green eyes frightened. Close behind followed Spinel Sun and Nakuru in their true forms, seemingly protective of her.

            She paused several feet away, looking directly at Syaoran, almost oblivious to everyone but him. She stared at him uncertainly and then looked at her father who stood gazing at her tenderly. A small smile slowly lifted his lips and he nodded to her gently.

            She smiled back faintly and reached out to him, burying her face into his chest as he embraced her tightly.

            Syaoran stared at them both, lips parted in confusion.

            Clow whispered something to her against her ear and she nodded, sniffling. He said something else and when she didn't reply he slowly pulled back and lifted his hands to grasp her face lovingly, repeating it as he turned her face to him.

            Tears slipped down her face and she sniffled, finally lifting her eyes to him and nodding. His smile widened a bit but instead he merely pulled her close and brushed a feather light kiss to her forehead, running his thumbs over her tear tracks to wipe them away.

            "It will be ok, for sure," he whispered and Syaoran recognized the phrase. Recognized it for it had once been Kinomoto Sakura's comfort, her spell. The Invincible Spell.

            Sakura nodded once more, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes as he murmured small things. And he stepped away then, fingers leaving her face, trailing out of her hair. She opened her eyes as he did so, face sorrowful. When she looked toward the Guardians under her father she smiled sweetly, tears shimmering in her eyes.

            "Sakura-chan," Keroberos said gently, hesitating. 

            "It will be ok," Yue said for him, still as stony as ever but nonetheless protective and caring over her.

            She nodded at him and back at Nakuru and Spinel Sun before looking toward Syaoran. He stared back, frowning quite visibly now as she came toward him and reached for his hand. Wordlessly he allowed her to take it, questioning her with his amber eyes.

            "I'm going with you," she explained in a shaky tone. "I understood at the end…I understood because no matter how much I cared for him, in the end he wasn't the one I had fallen in love with. Rather, only in the end was he. I understood before as well but when he died…I lost myself. And I was scared, Syaoran," she said, gazing at him and shaking her head, tears rising once more, "I still am. I don't want to be without you. Not now that I've found you again."

            Syaoran gazed at her, struck dumb.

            "Can I go with you?" she asked him fearfully.

            For a moment there was utter silence. Words were forming in his head but much too fast for him to spew them out. And he knew once he started trying to make words come out he would start stuttering and rambling. He just knew it.

            Through the portal a hand reached out and smacked him upside the back of his head.

            "Yes," the word suddenly came out and he instantly whipped his head to glare at the person who had attacked him.

            As did Sakura, her small smile fading as she caught sight of Meilin. She stared, eyes widening.

            But Meilin threw herself forward, coming clear through the portal even as Touya automatically went to hold her back. Sakura recoiled in fright but Meilin flung her arms around her, jumping up and down happily.

            "Kinomoto! We missed you so much! Especially Syaoran! All he did was cry and cry and I was so mad at you for dying! Because you made Syaoran cry but now he's-" she peeked over her shoulder and came to a complete stop, "**still crying!**"

            Syaoran looked from one girl to the other before gruffly looking away and clearing his throat. "No, I'm not," he said defensively even though he felt the warmth of tears in his eyes.

            Meilin rolled her eyes and took hold of Sakura's hand, dragging her. "Come on! Your father is going to want to see you and Tomoyo-chan is upstairs-"

            "Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura questioned, face paling. "I haven't seen Tomoyo-chan since…since…"

            Clow suddenly reached out, grasping his daughter's elbow. As she came to a stop he asked with a gentle smile, "You'll come visit with your father when he's old and forgetful? And also Yue and Keroberos?" he asked playfully.

            Sakura smiled widely, gazing at him. "Otou-san, I will visit whenever I have a bad day. A good day. A sad day. A happy day. A sleepless night. Anytime I can," she said quietly.

            He nodded and released her elbow, stepping away.

            "I'll have to teach you the spell," Eriol said teasingly as she paused before him. He held out his hand to her and as she took it, hand reaching through the portal, he bowed. "Hiiragizawa Eriol."

            "Kinomoto Sakura," she said with a smile.

            Eriol returned the smile. "I know you only too well," he said and he stepped away to allow her to come through. 

            Sakura did so, coming through and pausing as the effect slowly washed over her. Once she was steady she looked up toward Touya who hovered at her side. "Oni-chan," she said quietly.

            He nodded wordlessly and leaned down to embrace her, one hand running through her hair as she sighed against him. He smelled like him, felt like him. Was in all ways him. Still comfortable as if his death had never even happened.

            "Sakura-chan!" Daidouji Tomoyo's voice said, quivering slightly from the staircase.

            Sakura looked up, pulling back a bit from her brother's embrace. "Tomoyo-chan?" she asked in surprise, face blanching. And then, "Tomoyo-chan!"

            "Sakura-chan!" the pale-skin, dark-haired girl came running, long black curls floating behind her nimble frame. "Yokatta, Sakura-chan!" she cried, and she threw her arms around her, suddenly heaving breathlessly and crying against her.

            Syaoran leaned a bit toward Keroberos, asking under his breath, "What happened to Daidouji-san in this reality?"

            Kero whispered back, "She moved away once Sakura supposedly died. Sonomi-san couldn't handle her cousin's death much less Sakura's and she just packed her and her things up one day and left. She never said anything, not where she was going nor if she was ever coming back. And that was the last we saw of her and Tomoyo-chan."

            Syaoran nodded, a small smile crossing his lips as Tomoyo wept against Sakura, as Sakura wept right back. And then Meilin was jumping at them and flinging both her arms around them, Tomoyo giggling and Sakura laughing as the three of them were thrown off balance.

            "Meilin!"

            "You almost knocked us down!"

            "Are you saying I'm **fat**?" came the response in a snarl.

            "You'll come visit as well?" Clow asked Syaoran, bringing his attention back to the matter at hand. 

            Syaoran nodded, straightening. "Yes, of course. I'll bring along Touya-kun as well, anyone you wish to see."

            Clow nodded graciously. "Arigato gozaimasu."

            And with that Syaoran turned and went through the portal, feeling it wash over him and only then realizing that he had done good this time. He turned as he came out the other side and he nodded to Clow, to Keroberos and Yue and Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon in the back. And as he turned to look at Sakura she reached out and dragged him into the embrace as well, the four of them laughing and talking all at once, Meilin's screechy voice above all.

            "Syaoran cried for what felt like **years!**"

            **I woke up again, in the early hours of the morning. The sun had not yet risen but I realize she had woken me up. She was having another nightmare, calling out my name in the darkness of the night but I know it's not me she means when she calls my name. She still mourns his passing, has nightmares of killing her one true love. And I did what I always do. I rolled over and hugged her as she cried, and I listened to her sobs die off into sniffles and then I listened to her breathing as she drifted back to sleep and dreamt better dreams. Because I know she has nightmares of killing me. My twin is dead but he still lives inside her, always. He'll always be there. And it's a good thing because I think it makes her somehow love me more. **

**            I proposed to her, finally. I didn't get down on bended knee or anything because she was sitting on me at the time; we were watching the sun set and the red streaks mixed with the golden yellow of the sun. I didn't want to always remember the sunset in a bad way even though, in a sense, sunset is associated with death the same way autumn is. The rays die and flow into the night. The leaves fade into those brilliant colors before turning brown and brittle. Whatever the case, we sat on the front porch of my house and I just pulled out the ring and looked at her. I figure if she said no then I had absolutely every single reason to hate the sunset. But she looked at me like I had lost my mind, which wasn't a good reaction to be sure, before pretty much having a heart attack and saying yes.**

**            I give it about a year before we actually walk down the aisle. Meilin said she'd take care of the preparations but I don't trust her. Sakura trusts her perfectly well now although every once in a while she'll get this strange look in her eye when she looks at Meilin. I ask her about it but she says it's nothing, that it's something she has left behind. Anyway, the three of them, Sakura, Meilin and Tomoyo, are inseparable which in my opinion might not be a good thing because it's as if there was never a death and never a parting. I guess I should be damn happy but then the three of them start whispering and looking my way and I know I'm in for it later.**

**            Touya-kun also seems to have it in for me. Something about a bachelor party and then he smiles really evilly at Yukito-san and Yukito-san goes, "To-ya," in his usual _"Be nice to the poor boy,"_ tone and Touya-kun stops. I think he should be happy I went and brought him back Sakura. I know her father was completely surprised to see Sakura alive and she never really filled me in on how she explained her return to him but his being half Clow Reed might explain it.**

            Either way, we have to go back to the other world to tell Clow that I'm marrying his daughter. She's taking Touya-kun along with the Stuffed Animal and Yue because she has the Clow Cards under her name again. I disagreed from the beginning with it but Eriol told me that this Sakura is stronger, both in spirit and magic. Perhaps because of everything she's gone through. 

**            God help me, I love her.**

**            And even though I never had the chance to know you I don't think you were ever really to blame for what happened. You just wanted your son to live up to his destiny and you did see it. I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to but if nothing else the Cards are also in my possession which is just as good as being Master of the Cards.**

**            Well, time for me to go but I'll be visiting you shortly anyway.**

**                                                                                    Love always,**

**                                                                                         Li Xiao Lang**

Syaoran stepped away from his mother's grave, the white letter folded crisply and resting underneath a single, long-stemmed rose. It said on her gravestone that she had died half a year after Sakura had "died" herself. Beside her gravestone was his own gravestone, his double's name on it. The birth date was the same as his but as he stared at the death date he suddenly felt a release, knowing that the small detail was just one more difference between the two of them.

            Beside him Sakura looked up at him and slowly took his hand, their fingers entwining. "Are you ok?" she asked him gently, studying him with wide green eyes.

            He nodded at her, a small smile curling his lips. "Yeah, I'm fine. Better than fine. Don't worry about it. Let's go see your father." 

And together they turned away from the tombstone, walking down the gentle slope of the hill. All around spring had come at last and the cherry blossom petals lined their way home.

                                                     **~ FIN ~**

            Wow, took a while right? -_-'

Well there was a slight problem. I actually finished this chapter in late September but I didn't upload because I was offline for a bit. Then in October (my birthday month) I went to Mexico for a bit and when I came back my brother said he was fixing the comp for my birthday (not fixing it so much as adding to it to make it a better machine). Lo and behold, the motherboard fries and he orders a replacement only to have the company tell him (for like five weeks in a row) that they were sending it when they weren't. My brother finally threatened some legal action (Yokatta!!) and canceled the order and then finally ordered another one from a different company. It arrived, he fixed the machine and Aeslinn and I are now back online! Yay! Anyways, Aes also added a bit to her story (Past Mistakes. It's also a CCS fic) so she might be updating soon, too. *Catches Aeslinn nodding solemnly behind her* And I hope you all liked the end to the story. I had her help me with it a bit because the whole fic was dark and she was like, "Has anyone laughed at all in this stupid fic??" so…I had them laugh. ^_^;

Anyways, for all my readers, arigato!! Hope you enjoyed and I'll see what's next on my list… *Wanders off to download Gackt and Malice Mizer music videos*

                                                                                     - Cass


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